


Hidden Flames

by o0Alien0o



Category: Naruto
Genre: Affairs, Dark, Drama, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Oral Sex, Psychological Torture, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sneaking Around, Threats of Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:24:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9588467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0Alien0o/pseuds/o0Alien0o
Summary: It was over and Sakura had returned to her normal life, to her fiance, to plan her wedding all while hiding this secret. But, the fire she felt for Kakashi couldn't stay a secret for long.Sequel to Fever Inside Me ***ON HIATUS***





	1. Chapter One

**Hidden Flames**

****

* * *

 

_'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak  
And I tried to wash you away, but you just won't leave_

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* * *

 

 

Usually after a mission, Tsunade advised the shinobi to take at least two weeks to recover, especially if it had been a particularly tough one. She had taken one look at Sakura's injuries and instructed her to take an extra week. Her bones had healed nicely, but the bruises took much longer to recover from and she knew Sakura would be busy at the hospital with no time to worry about her own injuries.

Sakura had nodded, her mind a million miles away as the Godaime gave her orders. Three weeks was going to be torture for the poor girl. Three weeks of nothing to do, three weeks alone with her thoughts...Was she being punished for the mistakes she had made in Kumogakure? It certainly felt like it.

On the first day of her three weeks off, Sakura had spent her time cleaning the entire apartment from top to bottom. She had gotten down on her hands and knees to scrub the baseboards, cleaned out the fridge and pantry, had washed every single dish they owned. On the second day, Sakura rearranged the furniture of the living room. It took an hour to move it back once Kyo disapproved of the arrangement. As he pushed the couch back against the wall where it had been originally, Sakura had debated on whether or not to argue or get angry. In the end, she didn't have the energy to yell about it.

It was on the third day that she had started feeling as if the walls were closing in on her. Kyo had left early in the morning to get to the hospital to meet with the board of directors. He had kissed her on her temple and warned her that it was looking to be a long day for him and that she should try to get out of the house for a bit before leaving her alone in their cold, sterile home. Sakura sat on the white, leather couch that had been replaced in it's oh-so-special spot and hugged her knees to her chest, watching the door for nearly an hour after he left.

She could still smell the cleaner she had used to mop the floors and it burned with every breath she inhaled. Wrinkling her nose, she walked to the hall closet and pulled a box of her belongings she had brought over from her own apartment. It was full of things Kyo had decided didn't 'fit' with the rest of the decor. She pulled out her silky, purple pillow she used to have on her own couch and tucked it under her arm. Digging through the box, she found two candles and a lighter, checking the scent to make sure they didn't clash; Apple Strudel and Autumn Leaves. It would be an interesting mixture.

With her pillow clutched in her arm, Sakura set the candles down on the crystal clear, glass coffee table and lit the wick. They crackled from the dust they had gathered, but the smell was already soothing. She glanced at the clock and sighed. It had been less than an hour since Kyo had left the apartment. Biting the nail of her thumb, she stood from the couch and walked through the halls of the apartment, running her fingers along the frames of the art Kyo had hanging on the walls. She had dusted them and scrubbed any speck of dirt from the glass. The closets were organized, the bookshelves were completely void of dust, and she had even ironed and sorted all of their clothes in color order. Maybe there was something left to do in the bathroom.

She opened the door and stepped onto the cold, white marble floors. It was all perfectly clean and looked as if it belonged in a magazine showcasing beautiful, unobtainable houses for housewives to fantasize about. She had looked at several magazines like it at her mother's and never would have imagined she would be living in one of the pictures for the rest of her life. With a frown, she pulled the door back shut but hesitated as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her face was thin and the dark circles under her eyes made her look like a zombie...which was exactly how she felt. But, it was still surprising to see it up close.

Sakura walked to the vanity mirror and flipped the switch on the wall, illuminating her face under the bright bulbs. She looked like her self, but not. Was this what it was like to go back to life after an affair? Was she supposed to look as awful as she felt on the inside? Was she supposed to miss him this much? It didn't make sense to her. This was exactly what she had wanted. From the moment Tsunade handed her the scroll, she was begging to be back home and now that she was, all she wanted was to go back to that night in their shared bedroom where he made her feel things she still had trouble believing.

It was the night she replayed over and over in her head since she had walked into the apartment. She laid in bed the first two nights, tormented by the memories that played in her head like a movie, showing her exactly what she would never have again. Like a fire slowly consuming everything in its path, she could feel her want and desire creep through her again. It felt good to feel something, though she didn't want to admit it. The second voice in her head returned with a whisper, telling her that this was all okay, she was supposed to feel like this. It coaxed her into touching herself in the shower that morning before Kyo had woke and another wave of guilt washed over her as her fiance kissed her as she walked from the bathroom.

Her cheeks flushed at the memory and she shifted on her feet, turning to the side to examine herself. She pulled her shirt up and over her head, dropping it to the floor. Her hair fell past her breasts, completely covering them behind a curtain of pink. When had it gotten so long? She had let it grow free the last two years. Pursing her lips, Sakura reached into the bottom drawer of the vanity and pulled out a pair of scissors. She grabbed the chunk of hair in front of her and snipped it right at her collar bone. Ribbons of pink fell like snow into the sink and she scoffed at the sight of her lop-sided hair. Well, she had come this far, there was no stopping now.

It was as if she had lost five pounds just from the hair cut. She scooped the loose hair into her hand and flushed it down the toilet before taking care of the strands she had missed. The back was just a bit shorter and the strands that framed her face fell to her collar. She shook it around her head and smiled at her reflection. This was what she missed. This was the real Sakura.

Tossing the scissors back into the drawer, she hurried to the bedroom closet and threw open the doors. Her crispt, white nurse's uniform hung neatly inside the closet, brighter than the other clothes. It stood out like a beacon and she hurriedly put it on along with a pair of tights and her most comfortable work shoes. Three weeks be damned. She refused to sit around feeling sorry for herself when there was work to be done.

* * *

 

"Sakura, you're supposed to be resting." Shizune frowned as she sorted a desk full of patient charts. She signed her signature to the bottom of the page, closed the folder and scowled up at the pink haired medic, disapproving of her short leave of absence.

"I know, but I've rested. I'm fine. It wasn't that bad of an injury, I promise." She twisted at the waist, side to side to show Shizune that she was healed and held back the whimper from the pain she felt. She would survive bruises. It didn't get in her way and wouldn't hinder her ability to do her job. With a frown, Shizune pinched the bridge of her nose. "Tsunade will have some very strong words for me, but fine. We're short on staff today so I want you to pick up the quick check-ups around the clinic." With a snap of the chart she dismissed the girl. Sakura grinned and hurried to the busy nurse's station.

It wasn't hard finding something to do. With the weather growing cold, there was an abundance of ill patients that needed tending to. By noon, she had already seen twice as many people as the other nurses, volunteering for anything she could get her hands on. They gladly gave up the flu cases and anyone needing shots in their butt.

She hugged a chart to her chest as she pulled an elderly woman's door closed, ignoring the grumbling and complaining coming from the room. The woman was well known for being a hypochondriac and every cold and flu season, she would insist on being admitted for a month "just in case". As Sakura turned back to the chart room, she froze, her sneakers squeaking across the tile floor. The entire hospital slowed to a stop around her as she clutched the chart at her chest a bit tighter.

Standing beside an exam room, fifteen feet away was a very familiar, tall figure. His shoulder was against the wall and that familiar orange book was in his hands at his side. Kakashi watched her from the hall, the corner of his mask lifting just slightly in a small smile. It sent immediately butterflies soaring through her midsection. Her feet moved on their own, taking two steps toward him but she may as well have been floating. The little voice in her head rejoiced at the sight of him and urged her to hurry to him.

"Sakura?" She narrowed her eyes as her name was called from behind her in a familiar voice. Whirling around, she stared at the face of her fiance making his way up the hospital hall. He had his white lab coat on and he was being followed by several men in suits who all looked as if they were unimpressed at their surroundings. Sakura had seen them before when they toured the new facilities. They had seemed so passive, as if the state of the art hospital was only so-so. Kyo scanned her over with his eyes and scowled at the sight of her hair before he excused himself politely from the company of the director's. He took her by the elbow and pulled her to the side of the hallway. Sakura glanced over his shoulder to see Kakashi watching them, his eyes narrowed and...jealous? Her heart fluttered at the thought.

"What are you doing here?" Kyo asked quietly. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I'm fine." She was beginning to hate those words. "I had to get out of the house. I was going crazy just sitting there."

"I can see that." He glanced over her hair before wiping his hand over his face with a sigh. "We can talk about this later. Don't over work yourself. You're still healing." As she nodded, Kyo turned back to the group of men and gestured for them to follow him into the intensive care unit of the hospital. Once he was clearly out of sight, she spun back around and felt her hopes crash against the floor.

Kakashi had left. Had he even been there at all or had she imagined him? She pressed a hand to the aching bruises on her side and decided to take a short break before any of the other nurses could pass off their duties on to her. She ducked quickly into a dark, empty room and leaned against the counter that ran along the wall, thankful for the moment to gather her thoughts. Seeing him again broke the dam she had been pushing all thoughts of him behind and they flooded around her now, enclosing her in a tiny bubble of him. She could almost remember how he had smelled. He had looked so good and that smile...Had it meant he was feeling just as miserable as she had been the past few days?

Behind her, the door creaked open and Sakura rolled her eyes. Damn. They had found her. "I'm just resting a bit." She called over her shoulder but was startled by the sight of Kakashi closing the door with a soft click. She whirled around, her fingers gripping the edge of the sink hard enough that she was afraid she would break the wood around it. "Kakashi." She whispered, wishing she could stop the rush of heat between her legs. "What are you doing here?"

"I was visiting a friend. I didn't expect to see you back to work so soon." He kept his distance from her, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he studied her hair. "But, I'm glad I did." He took a step toward her and Sakura instinctively took one back. She felt cornered, trapped by her desire to be near him and her fear of getting caught. Shaking her head, she swallowed the lump that pressed hard against her throat.

"Kakashi--"

"I know." He hung his head, a look of sadness washing over his face. Sakura felt as if she had been stabbed in the gut. She hated knowing she made him feel like that. They had both hurt each other that night in the hospital and his words still hung in her head, stinging her every time they replayed. "I won't put you in a position to get caught. I didn't even plan on talking to you." Kakashi pushed a hand through his hair, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "I just think we should talk. The way we left things in Kumogakura...it didn't feel right and I apologize."

"It's okay." She whispered, unsure of what else she could possibly say to him. Everything she had rehearsed and went over and over in her mind the past few days seemed so...insignificant now. She had been so sure she would have yelled at him, slapped him, or called him out for being an asshole. But, he wasn't. He was trying to take the most painless way out, to end their affair like ripping a band-aid off.

"Will you meet me tonight? Outside the village gates."

"I-I can't. I..." She had Kyo. She couldn't keep doing this to him, no matter how much her body begged for just once last taste. If she went to Kakashi, if she met him, Sakura knew it would begin again. It would fan the flames she had tried to snuff out. Even after Kakashi had stomped on them, after she had spent the past few days ignoring her desires despite how badly that little voice begged for it, it had to be over. Kyo didn't deserve to have his fiance sneak around behind his back and lie to him. She was tired of feeling like this horrible monster.

"I'll wait until midnight. If you're not there by then...Well...We'll both have our answer, then." The silence stretched thick between them and Sakura ached to touch him. Instead, she nodded, feeling as if some invisible force had both of her arms, pulling her in two different directions at once. As he left the room, shutting the door with a soft click behind him, Sakura sucked in a deep, trembling breath, feeling as if she had been holding it in the entire time.

* * *

 

 

 

AN- And, they're back. I apologize for having to cut the story into two parts but it works best this way. Thanks for reading the first part and this next one! I can't believe people actually like what I have to write! As always, I'm open for constructive criticism!

 


	2. Chapter Two

**_Hidden Flames_ **

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* * *

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_Even though I should've known  
It was a bad idea to love you_

_._

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* * *

 

 

  
Stepping into the elevator of the massive apartment building, Sakura let her head fall against the metallic wall as the door shut behind her. She felt completely drained, mentally and emotionally and the bruises on her side burned with every shuddering breath she took. Pushing herself after only three days of rest was turning out to be a pretty stupid thing to do, but the distraction had been nice.

The bustling of the hospital had done its job drowning out any thought that tried to creep up into the back of her mind. But now that she was making her way home, her thoughts returned like a chorus of regret and guilt. She still hadn't made up her mind about whether or not she was going to meet Kakashi at midnight and she only had five more hours to make the decision. On one hand, it was the only thing she wanted to do. It had been torture to force herself not to run to his house after her shift. But, she had pushed herself toward her apartment with Kyo and now that she was alone in the elevator, she felt as if she had made the right decision. Being with Kakashi in a secluded place would only be more trouble for her.

As the elevator rose through the floors, a headache crept along the back of her skull. She rubbed at her temples and winced as the bell over the doors chimed loudly, sending pain jolting down the back of her head and to her shoulders. The gold panels opened and she made her way down the hall, hesitating outside the door of Kyo's apartment. She could see it in her mind just as she had left it earlier, white, sterile and empty with the furniture in their perfect designated spots. The quiet that waited for her was unnerving and she felt the creeping sensation she had felt earlier that day crawl along her spine.

"This was the right choice." She whispered to herself, shutting her eyes as she twisted her key in the lock. "This is the only choice." The lock clicked and she pushed the door open, sliding her hand along the wall to flick the lights on. The foyer was filled with people she both immediately recognized and some she had a hard time remembering. Her mother's smiling face, her father grinning behind her and Ino were all there but, so were a few of Kyo's friends who had never really attempted to get to know her. "Surprise!" The group shouted, raising their champagne glasses in the air.

"Wha--What are you doing here?" Sakura croaked, raising a hand to her suddenly dry throat. She coughed as her mother stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek. Kyo smiled from the dining table, lifting his glass of alcohol toward his fiance. "We wanted to welcome you home properly, dear." Her mother leaned closer with a whisper. "It was Ino's idea. She's missed you so much."

There were a few other people that were mostly Kyo's friends and a couple they had went out with twice that Sakura had trouble recalling the names of. They had been rather snobbish and had to complain about everything that wasn't up to their ridiculously high standards. After they had all but mocked her for her lifestyle choices, she had decided to avoid Kyo's invitations to join them for any further dinners. Sakura had been sure she would never see them again, yet here they were. She ducked around Ino to stand by Kyo's chair. He grinned up at her and held a champagne flute for her to take. "Are you surprised?" He asked, standing to kiss her cheek, holding a hand to the small of her back to bring her close to him.  
  
"Yes. You know I'm not a fan of surprise parties." She forced a smile to the group of his friends, hoping she looked more appreciative than annoyed. Kyo smoothed a hand down her hair and twirled the shorter strands around his fingers.

"I know. But, you've been acting so down lately. I figured this would be a good way to cheer you up. I hate seeing you miserable." He hugged her a bit tighter before leaving her at the table to make his way to the snob couple. If he was so concerned with her feeling depressed, he didn't show it. In fact, he was having a great time mingling with his friends and colleagues, laughing and downing his glass of champagne.

From beside her, a hand took hers and Sakura jumped, whirling around to face her best friend. Ino blinked, taken aback by her reaction. "Are you alright?" She asked, concern filling her crystal blue eyes.

Sakura nodded and turned her glass up, gulping her alcohol as fast as she could. She would need a little help to get through the night. "I'm fine." She mumbled, grabbing the neck of the champagne bottle that sat in the ice bucket. She poured until her glass nearly over flowed but she drank every drop in one gulp. Before she could refill for a second time, Ino took the bottle and pulled her into the darkened kitchen.

"What's wrong? You never drink like this unless you're upset or partying. And no offense, but you look like hell so I know you don't want to party." Ino bit her lower lip. "You're not mad about the surprise are you?"

Sakura's shoulders fell and she shook her head. She hated making Ino feel bad. She only had good intentions and Sakura was thankful she was here. Hot tears stung at her eyes and her throat clamped tightly over the lump that was beginning to form. The words tingled the tip of her tongue, ready to spill. She wanted so badly to tell Ino everything, from the incident in the bar to Kakashi meeting her in the hospital that morning...But, she couldn't.

She was terrified of what Ino would think of her.

"No. I'm just exhausted...But, I really missed you." Her voice cracked as she spoke and she couldn't help the tear drop that spilled out from the corner of her eye. She swiped at it before turning to the counter, hoping Ino hadn't spotted her crying. She refilled her glass, took a deep breath and looped her arm around the blonde's before walking back to the party together.

Two hours later, Sakura was gathering the half empty glasses around the apartment. She was thankful when her mother and father decided to head home. They had started a chain reaction that ended the party before Sakura could collapse from the weight of forcing smiles and laughter at her fiance's jokes. Her shoulders were full of tension and she twisted her neck to pop it, but the pain remained.

From behind her, Kyo dumped a half empty glass into the sink and snagged the only remaining bottle of champagne from the counter. He was drunk, but that was no surprise. He had drank more than anyone else and was currently stumbling to the living room. Sakura winced as he set the bottle down hard on his glass-top coffee table. She hoped he hadn't cracked it but she was sure she would be hearing a string of curse words from him if he had.

She grabbed the glass he dumped into the sink and scrubbed at the crimson lipstick stain around the rim, trying to keep her eyes off the digital clock on the stove. The last time she had glanced at it, it had read 11:39 and the sight made her heart pound. Even if she left now, she would have to run to meet Kakashi by midnight.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she twisted the faucet off and listened for several seconds for any sign that Kyo was going to engage in conversation with her. He stayed quiet and Sakura made her way slowly around the wall separating the kitchen from the living area. She could see his feet propped up on the arm of the white sofa and frowned. If she had put her feet on the upholstery, he would come undone.

"Kyo?" She called as softly as she could. He made no sound.

As she stood in front of the sofa and stared down at him, his hand slid off of his chest and onto the carpet beneath him with a deep, loud snore. He was out. She shook his shoulder gently and called his name but he slept on. Using a bit more strength, Sakura pushed him, nearly rolling him over on the couch. He gave only a snort, scratched at his nose, and continued snoring.

Sakura hurried to the bedroom, pulling her nurse's uniform up and over her head before she made it to her perfectly organized closet. She tossed the dress and grabbed a pair of leggings a loose fitting, black tunic and a jacket. She scribbled a sloppy note for Kyo, just in case, that said she was going for a run with Ino. If she was late getting back home, he would think they had got caught up talking. She was out of the apartment in less than a minute, taking the stairs two at a time until she pushed open the double glass doors. The cool night air hit her heated skin and she sighed in relief, as if she had been feverish for so long and now it was broke.

She ran through the streets, pulling her hood around her face to hide her pink hair that would surely shine like a beacon to anyone watching. Though the streets were virtually empty of anyone out for the night, she kept to the less crowded areas until the village gates loomed over head. She glanced toward the guard station and was thankful it was empty. She had caught them while they patrolled. "Please, still be here." She muttered as she slipped through the gates.

The forest was impossibly dark outside the wall and Sakura ducked into the shadows of the trees. There was no sign of Kakashi and she felt her shoulders slump, her hopes dashed. Was it midnight already? She had run so fast to make it. Maybe this was for the best. She couldn't trust herself to make the right decision when he was so near her. She had learned that lesson in Kumogakure.

Clamping her teeth over her lip, she peered through the trees but could make out nothing remotely close to the shape of him. Before she could turn back to the gates, a hand slipped around her mouth and her body was pulled tightly against someone very tall and warm. "Shh." Kakashi whispered against her ear and Sakura felt her knees weaken. "Genma's on the wall tonight. He's already made a pass so we have a few minutes before he comes back."

Sakura turned in his arms, slipping her hands up his chest and around his neck as if they had a mind of their own. His arms tightened around her and backed her into the trunk of a tree, pressing his length against her. She couldn't help but sigh contentedly, her body singing happily to be near his again. Kakashi's mouth covered hers and she gripped a handful of hair at the back of his neck. The contrast of the softness of his lips and warmth of his body to the bark scraping against her back only added fuel to the fire burning inside her.

Sakura let her head fall back against the tree as Kakashi made his way down her throat, nipping and sucking gently at her skin. His hands pulled at the fabric of her jacket until she was free of it and he tossed it to the moss covered ground. "Oh, Kakashi." Sakura whispered, his name tasting so sweet on her tongue. It had been torture the last few days, unable to speak to him or feel him. She would rather endure 1000 days like the one with Shun if it meant in the end, she could have this.

"I thought we were going to talk." Kakashi murmured against her throat, his hands dipping beneath her shirt and under her bra. His fingers were cool against her heated skin and her nipples hardened at his touch. Sakura bit her lip to keep from crying out. "We can." She breathed, but talking was the furthest thing from her mind.

"I've missed this." He said, his lips barely grazing hers. She could feel him smile as he dipped a hand into her leggings and beneath her panties, slipping between her folds. Her head fell back against the tree trunk and she felt the entire world melt away from her. There was nothing but him and she loved it. He curled a finger over her clit and she felt a shudder roll through her body. "I can tell you have too." Gods, she could come just from his voice.

But, all too soon the world spun back into view and Sakura could see a flash of light sweeping over the ground. With a gasp, she pushed Kakashi away and ducked behind the tree, squatting behind the leaves of a fern as Genma's flashlight pointed toward them. "Kakashi?" He called, leaping from the wall and landing a few yards away.

Sakura cursed under her breath, hoping he hadn't seen anything. God, she was so stupid. Fucking Kakashi in a completely different village was one thing, but under the noses of everyone they knew? It was just wrong. She didn't feel as if she were just cheating on Kyo now. She was betraying everyone who knew her and trusted her. She was having an affair. God, what would her parents think?

Her stomach churned and she immediately regretted the champagne she had consumed. It threatened to come back up but she swallowed it back.

"Yes?" Kakashi snapped angrily.

"What are you doing out here?" Genma chuckled, as if he suspected something. "Are you...alone?" The flashlight swept the ground around them and Sakura peeked out from the bush, spying the white fabric of her jacket laying on the moss. Shit. As the light clicked off and Genma crossed his arms over his chest, Sakura knew this was the only chance she would get.

She snatched her jacket from the ground and ran as fast as her legs could carry her back toward the gates. She could hear the nin shout in protest and the flashlight clicked on, illuminating the tree to her left before it was snatched from his hand. Kakashi crushed it in his fist and Sakura was thankful for the cover of darkness once again. She slipped in the gate and ran.

She ran passed Kyo's apartment building, passed the hospital and toward the only person she could think of that would let her in and not ask questions. She didn't want to go home, didn't want to see Kyo passed out drunkenly on his sofa. The silence of that apartment would make her want to rip her hair out. She needed one night of peace where she wouldn't have to be reminded of Kakashi, or Kyo, or her upcoming marriage.

It was late, but Sakura hoped he wouldn't be too deep in sleep to not hear her knocking. After the first several knocks on his door, Naruto answered it sleepily. He rubbed his eyes and blinked in the darkness at her.

"Sakura? What are you doing here?"

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

* * *

 

AN- Naruto to the rescue!


	3. Chapter Three

_~I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand  
But I keep living this day like the next will never come~_

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* * *

 

Naruto's snores had woken Sakura early the next morning, though she hadn't been able to sleep well anyway. Her neck was stiff from laying in such an uncomfortable position on his couch and she sat up, leaning her head to the side to relieve a bit of the pain. The living room was bathed in the grey early morning light and Sakura figured she might as well leave before he woke up. She didn't feel like answering questions anyway and he was bound to ask a few.

She folded the blanket Naruto had given her and decided she would take him out for a bowl of ramen to make it up to him in a few days. Today, she had to figure out what she was going to do. Talking to Kakashi hadn't worked out the way she had hoped. But, if she was being honest with herself, she knew talking wasn't what she wanted from him. She had known what it would be the moment he asked her to meet him.

A part of her felt dirty, like she was nothing more than a booty call that jumped at the chance to sleep with Kakashi. Was that what he saw her as now? Was she that transparent?

Sakura grabbed her shoes from beside the door and slipped out into the morning, wondering if Naruto would even remember her being there. She still did not want to go home and had to force her feet to take her there. Kyo would be waiting, that she was sure of. Even in his drunken states, he always woke early. He would be furious that she had stayed out all night, but would he suspect her of anything aside from the note she had left? She hoped he would believe her, though she knew she should tell him the truth, that it all spiraled out of control and she was finished with it all. But that was a lie. Though she was angry at herself for being unable to control her desires around Kakashi, she didn't hate herself enough to resist him completely. It frightened her just how long she was willing to keep this up to have him.

Chewing her thumbnail, she ducked into the building, thankful that she was wearing her running gear. If anyone thought she was taking a walk of shame, she could always say she had gone out running early. Not that it was even remotely any of their business. She was an adult and could do what she wanted. Then again, if it ever got out that she was having an affair behind the most eligible bachelor's back, her reputation would be tarnished. Other women already glared at her for even snagging Kyo from the dating pool. She would be the pariah of the village women if they found out what she was doing to him.

Standing outside her door, she realized in horror that she had forgotten her key. She would have to knock and wake him, like a sleeping dragon just waiting for someone to come by to devour. Just run, a voice in the back of her head whispered. She could leave it all now, move back in with her parents who would ultimately understand. She was far too young to be married.

Sakura could see her father's face in her mind, beaming proudly as he congratulated she and Kyo on their engagement. He loved his future son in law and both her mother and father adored the fact that Kyo was the hospital director and not in a dangerous field of work. They wanted Sakura close and safe, just like any parent would want for their child.

She felt hot tears prick at her eyelids like needles and knew running away would be the cowardly thing to do. This was her mess, she had to clean it up, no matter how long it took her to do it. Taking a deep, shaking breath, she knocked on her own front door and listened for any movement inside. She could hear a dish being dumped into the sink and sighed, ready for the inevitable argument that was about to explode. The door opened and Sakura forced an apologetic smile, knowing the best way to go about this was to just ask for his forgiveness. Instead, Kyo sighed and pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry." He said, smoothing her hair down her head as he held her close. Confused, Sakura let him guide her inside the apartment. "I shouldn't have drank so much last night."

"Don't be sorry. It was a party. Everyone was drinking." She sat down on the white, leather couch beside him as he shook his head. He had on a crisp, white button down shirt and a tie hanging on either side as if he had been in the middle of tying it.

"Not like me. I would have left too if I were you." He patted the hand that laid on her knees and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'm happy you're not too upset. I have to be at the hospital in twenty minutes to meet with the village officials. We're hoping to break ground on the research facility next month." Sakura nodded as he stood and grabbed his lab coat off the back of the chair. He grabbed the ends of his tie as he glanced over at her. "Tell your mother I'm sorry she had to put you up last night."

Blinking in confusion, Sakura realized he had never even read her note. He just assumed she had spent the night with her mother because he had drank so much? "I actually went to Ino's." She pointed to the table by the front door where her note sat, forgotten until now. "I left you a note but I guess you didn't see it."

Kyo's hands slowed to a stop around his tie and his face changed from a sweet, understanding look to one of sudden contempt. He jerked his tie through the loop and stepped to the mirror hanging near the dining room. She watched him glance at her in the reflection and she flinched at his icy stare. "Ino, hm? I guess I should have known."

"We went out for a run and I realized I didn't have my keys. She let me sleep on her couch...or would you have rather me slept in the hallway by the front door?" Sakura stood, the edges of her vision going a bit red at his irrational distrust of her best friend. She knew he thought she was a bad influence and that she was filling Sakura's head with reasons to leave him, but that was farthest from the truth. Sure, Ino disliked Kyo just as much as he disliked her, but she had never made Sakura feel as if she were in the middle of their hate.

"I have to go." Kyo said shortly and grabbed his leather briefcase from beside the front door. He wrenched the door open and turned with a sigh back to his fiancé. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this, but I just don't see why you like her. She's...beneath you, Sakura." With a shake of his head, Kyo backed into the hallway and pulled the door shut, enclosing Sakura inside the cold and empty apartment.

She felt as if she had been slapped in the face by his words and her stomach twisted inside her. In the months that she had been with Kyo, he had never seemed so snobbish as he had just then. He was just like that couple he tried to force Sakura to be friends with. The woman had looked down her nose in disgust the one time Sakura had ordered the wrong type of wine at their dinner. She hated those types of women, hated the snobs that seemed to accumulate around Kyo because of his wealth. Was that what he expected her to be?

Shaking her head, she made her way to the bathroom to bathe. Yesterday's sweat and dirt from hiding in the mossy bushes still clung to her skin and she needed the steam and heat of the shower. She stayed under the spray until the water began to run too cold to stand and stepped out onto the plush, white rug. Just as she wrapped a towel around her chest, a knock echoed through the apartment. Frowning, Sakura hurried to the door and leaned down to glance through the peep hole. She felt her lips turn up into a smile at the familiar blonde pony tail bobbing on the other side of the door.

Sakura opened it with a smile. "Hey." She breathed, pushing a strand of wet hair behind her ear. Ino glanced over her with a quick blink of her eyelids. "Hey yourself." The blonde stepped inside the apartment and folded her arms over her chest as she glanced around.

"Last night was fun, wasn't it?" She faked such a bubbly tone that Sakura rolled her eyes as she shut the door behind them.

"Kyo's not here."

"Oh. Good. I was coming over to make sure you were okay after last night. But I can see Kyo made you feel better." Ino glanced her eyes down to Sakura's neck, making the girl crease her brow in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

Ino pursed her lips as she pulled open the flap of her purse and plunged her hand into it's depth. "Honestly, Sakura. You're telling me you didn't notice that?" She held a compact mirror up to where Sakura could see the reflection of her neck and chin and the dark red cluster of dots right below her ear. Gasping in horror, she grabbed the mirror and tilted her head to see the spot better. She couldn't even remember Kakashi sucking on her neck. She had been too preoccupied with almost getting caught and the weird encounter with Kyo to even think about it.

Her stomach twisted tighter the longer she stared at it and she felt ill. With shaking hands, Sakura leaned against the back of the dining room chairs, wishing the room would stop spinning. Surely, Kyo hadn't noticed it. Her hair had been down and would have covered the spot enough. Besides, she was almost certain he would have brought it up in a furious rage had he seen it.

Ino followed her to the table and ducked her head to meet her gaze. She had that look in her eye like she knew exactly what was going on, but wanted to hear it from Sakura. "What's going on?" She demanded, placing her hands on her hips with her lips pursed.

"Nothing." Sakura croaked, knowing her lie was as transparent as a sheet of glass. She felt two feet tall for lying, and for keeping it up so long. It was all starting to crumble inside her and she squeezed her eyes shut around the tears that stung her eyelids. Sucking in a deep trembling breath, Sakura lowered herself into the chair and watched Ino do the same.

"This is not nothing and you know it. Sakura, I'm worried about you." The tone of her voice made a dam break behind Sakura's eyes and she shook her head, staring up at the ceiling through her watering eyes as her chin quivered.

"I'm so stupid." She said, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. "I've been having an affair."

Several seconds passed in silence as Sakura pressed her hand to her forehead, hiding her face from her best friend. She was so ashamed, she didn't want Ino to even look at her. "I knew it." Ino said with a chuckle, rubbing Sakura's arm with her palm. She pulled the crying kunoichi into her arms and hugged her. "I suspected it since my birthday. You were so jumpy that day."

She pushed Sakura back and met her gaze with a small, coy smile. "Can I know who it's with?"

"No. Because it's stopping. Today." Sakura wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks and wished she wasn't still dressed in only a towel. She felt extremely vulnerable and hoped Ino couldn't guess who she was having an affair with, though it should be obvious. Sakura feared she was so blatant with her sneaking around that people she didn't even know would guess it.

Ino clucked her tongue and folded her arms over her chest. "You sound so confident for someone who has a hickey from her lover on her neck. And that thing looks fresh," She leaned forward and pushed wet strands of pink away from her neck to get a proper look at it. "That had to have happened recently...like within the last few hours."

Sakura bit her lip and remembered she still had to ask Ino to cover for her on the off chance that Kyo would question her about the previous night. "Oh, yeah. Uhm, if anyone asks, I was at your house all night last night." She ducked and braced herself for her friend's reaction.

Ino's blue eyes went wide and her jaw fell open a bit as she stared. "What have you done with the Sakura I know?" She shook her head in disbelief, knowing sneaking around and spending the night with people was so very uncharacteristic for Sakura. "Are you sure this is going to end today?"

Her question fell through Sakura's gut like a lead ball and left her feeling a bit nauseous at the thought. She wanted more than anything to have the mental and emotional strength to end it, but she knew she wouldn't. Even when Kakashi had been the one to stop them, they had somehow found a way back to each other. And if Sakura was being completely honest with herself, the brief moment the previous night had been so satisfying, despite not being able to finish what they had started. Just having his hands on her, being so close to him and kissing him, had left Sakura feeling as if she were glowing from the inside, despite how shitty she knew she should be feeling.

The guilt was a fleeting feeling now, lasting hours instead of days and weeks. It frightened her to think that after another month, she wouldn't feel it at all.

Heaving a sigh, Sakura sat back in her chair and shrugged. "I'm going to try. I know you probably thing I'm a selfish piece of shit for this-"

"Not at all."

"-I just don't know if I can stop it. I tried...when I was on my mission." She fibbed, hoping Ino would be thrown off her and Kakashi's scent for a bit. "I thought if I could be away from him, I would be able to stop. But, I can't. It's like..." She shook her head, unable to find the right words to describe how her body ached for his, or how she felt as if she were going crazy the three days she was without him. The things she felt and experienced with Kakashi were far too intense to ever be able to put into words. "It's like I'm addicted to a drug and the withdrawals are excruciating. I'm not sure I could survive it again."

Silence filled the room around them and Sakura felt it closing in on her again, as if the stark, white walls were inching closer and closer together. She shrugged the thought off and shook her head. Ino sighed and sat back in her chair. "So, what are you going to do?"

Sakura laughed bitterly.

"I have no idea."

 

* * *

AN- Aw, of course Ino understands.

 


	4. Chapter Four

**Hidden Flames**

 

* * *

 

_What have I done?_  
I'm a fucking monster  
When all I wanted was something beautiful

_._

_._

_._

* * *

 

 

The day was ticking by agonizingly slow for Sakura and for the past half hour, she had sat in the back office of the nurse's station, tapping her pen over the stack of charts she was assigned to look over. She hadn't opened a single one and couldn't force her mind to even focus for longer than a few minutes on her work. So she had given up, hoping tomorrow she would be able to concentrate better and tackle the growing list of tasks.

But, she doubted it. Her head was filled with so many 'what if's and 'what could be's that she was on the verge of going insane. Her body ached for the drug she had grown so addicted to the past month and her head fought hard to deny it. It was a constant battle waging inside her and it was starting to take a toll on her life. She just wanted some clarity. But it was so hard to think clearly when thoughts of Kakashi flashed through her mind, his body against hers, his mouth, his hands...it was as if her body needed just another taste so she could get it out of her system and start thinking about things more clearly. She couldn't even think about her wedding. It was as if any time it came up in her mind, her body would remind her of the way Kakashi had looked as she fucked him, or the way his hair had tickled her stomach with his head between her legs.

Groaning in frustration, Sakura put her head on the pile of charts and wished someone would come in and bludgeon her with a stapler. Anything to get the thoughts out of her head. She had to press her thighs together to keep her fingers from sliding up her uniform. There wasn't much Sakura wouldn't do to relieve the devastating tension that had been sitting heavy inside her for the past week but, she couldn't bring herself to alleviate her ache while at work. She was shameful, but she hadn't stooped that low...yet. It had been a while since she had felt anything as good as what he could do and she was desperate. She hadn't seen Kakashi since the night at the gates and anytime she thought about how their absence from one another was probably a good thing, panic bubbled inside her. Deep down, she knew she didn't want this to end, no matter how much she knew it had to.

And when she wondered if he was thinking about her in the same way, Sakura couldn't help imagining him in as much agony as she was in, desperate for a touch or even just a glimpse. Why was it so hard to do this? She shouldn't want to have an affair. It should be disgusting her, and the fact that it didn't, made her hate herself anymore.

A knock at the office door made her sit up with a start, and the sight of a familiar blonde standing with a box of donuts almost made Sakura cry. She straightened her hair and forced a smile. "Hey." She breathed as Ino sat down in the chair across the desk and shut the door behind her. She slid the box to Sakura with sticky fingers.

"I had every intention of giving you all of them, but I got hungry on the walk over." She grinned as Sakura opened the box. There were six left out of a dozen and she couldn't help laugh.

"You ate 6 donuts on the walk over?"

"No. I ate 2....Sai ate the others." Ino's cheeks flushed as she flipped her ponytail over one shoulder. The kunoichi had been eyeing Sakura's former teammate for quite a while and it made her happy for Ino that something was actually happening. At least someone's love life was coming together appropriately. Sakura folded her arms over her chest and sat back in the old, creaking chair.

"You and Sai ate my donuts? Was this a donut-stealing date?"

"I don't want to talk about it. You might jinx it. Besides, I wanted to know about your affairs more anyway." Ugh, she just had to refer to it all as her affairs. It made it sound so wrong. Sakura's face fell and she shook her head. She didn't know how to tell Ino that her head was so jumbled with thoughts that she couldn't even concentrate to spell her own name.

"What about it?" She asked, keeping her hands busy with the blue box before her, hoping if she kept her attention on it instead of looking at Ino, she would be able to keep her mouth shut and not spill too much information. She still hadn't told her that this whole this involved her former sensei and Ino had been pushing her for more. It would more than likely slip out when Sakura least expected it and with the way her mind was working -- or not working -- today, she was afraid she would let something slip.

"Have you came to a decision?"

"Not in the least. But, I haven't seen ' _you know who_ ' in six days, so the fact that I haven't ran to his house to jump him is a good sign." She pushed the donut box open and snatched the sticky treat. Junk food was just what she needed right now, and something to stuff in her mouth to keep her from talking too much. She chewed as Ino sat across the desk, tapping her chin in deep thought.

"Here's a strictly hypothetical question...what if you did choose ' _you know who_ ' over Kyo. Do you think you would be happier?"

Sakura knew that answer. It was one of her own what if's she had been asking herself for a few days now. She knew for a while she would be happy, but was her feelings for Kakashi just physical? What if in three months, their passion and lust fizzled out and she was left with nothing but the ashes of two relationships? "I don't know." Was all she could say. It hurt to think about it. If she chose Kakashi, and the spark they had died out, she would lose so much more than a relationship. She would be losing a friend and over a decade worth of trust between them.

"I'm not sure a relationship starting off through an affair is something I should pursue. The way we came together was..." Ino sat forward in her chair, her eyes wide with anticipation and Sakura knew she had to be careful not to give away too much information. "Intense. I'm afraid that what we have is just lust and the lies that revolve around this thing would taint whatever future could have existed."

"So, you don't love this other guy?"

God, why did she have to ask that? After he had carried her, bleeding and broken, through the mountains of Kumagakure, she did love him. She had never felt anything more fierce in her life and she had been so afraid her heart would burst out of her chest that she couldn't have even told him if she wanted to. But, he had ended what they had and it nearly destroyed her. Her heart was more guarded now, though Sakura knew she was doing all she could to shatter it once more. But, she and Kakashi had more than love. They had a partnership and were a team. They had a past reaching back a decade. Was it possible to fall in love after knowing someone for so long?

"Your silence says a lot." Ino said quietly and Sakura blinked in surprise. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, staring at the powder blue box on her desk, contemplating the question. "It's...complicated."

"Look," Ino said as she slid to the edge of her seat and reached across the table to take Sakura's hand in hers. Her blue eyes were narrowed and her brow furrowed across her forehead. "Whatever you decide, I want you to know that I'm here. I don't care if people gossip, or if your parents get upset, I don't care if you go through with the wedding and two weeks later you decide it's not what you want or if you stay married for ninety years. I'm here and I'll support your decision."

Tears pricked the back of Sakura's eyelids as she inhaled a shaking breath. She nodded, unable to form any meaningful words. She was lucky she had such a good friend to help her through this. Maybe it was time to tell her the truth about who she was having an affair with. Ino deserved to know. She had been so understanding. Sakura cleared her throat and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Um, you know, I think I'm ready to-"

A knock at her office door made both girls jump in their chairs. Before either could move, a young nurse poked her head through the door, her face distraught. "Lady Tsunade requests your help. It's urgent." Sakura stood and hurried around the desk, forgetting the donuts. She glanced to Ino as she slipped through the door. "We'll talk later." She called before hurrying after the young girl who was practically running down the hall.

What could have possibly happened? She immediately thought of her loved ones, hoping nothing had happened to them. And she bit her lip, hoping it wasn't Kakashi either. Her heart pounded so hard she could hear it in her ears as they made their way from the general admission to the emergency department. There was a small gathering of people waiting for treatment but none looked urgent or gave a hint as to what could have caused the nurse to look so terrified. The girl stopped outside of a room toward the back of the emergency department and pointed inside.

Sakura skidded to a stop just inside the door and put a hand to her mouth at the sight of a ninja laying on the bed. His eyes were staring straight up at the ceiling, glazed over in a blank stare but his lips moved rapidly, murmuring something she couldn't hear. Tsunade was standing in the corner of the room, her arms folded over her chest. She glanced up at Sakura and nodded for her to come in. The door shut quietly with a click behind her. From the look of defeat on the Godaime's face, Sakura could tell there was no good news. "What happened to him?" She asked in a whisper.

"We don't know. He had went missing after a scouting mission. They found him this morning in the forest...just standing there muttering to himself." Tsunade stared hard at the boy on the bed. He looked so young despite his chunin vest. Sakura took the chart from the front of the bed and glanced through his information. He was only 17...his parents would have to be alerted but Sakura knew it was more important to figure out what had happened first.

The chunin's whispered words chilled Sakura to her core and she gave a small shudder before placing his chart back in the slot. "What's he saying?"

"Gibberish mostly. But the ones who brought him in reported him saying 'out of my head' over and over until he got here." The Godaime waved a hand toward the bed with a click of her tongue. "We can't make any sense of it. I was hoping you would have more luck."

"Me?" Sakura asked, glancing up at the woman. Tsuande pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned against the single, curtained window at the back of the room. "Shizune found a puncture mark on his arm. It's consistent with those we see in patients who have to take intravenous medicines. It's possible he was poisoned."

Memories of her mission flashed rapidly through her mind and she gave a small shudder, never wanting to experience anything like what she had endured in Kumgakure again. "Did you find anything in his body?" She asked, snatching a pair of gloves from the box behind her before slipping them over her fingers.

"No. If he was poisoned, it works fast. There's no trace of any foreign substance in his body and if it were, it would be in his liver. I could feel a bit of internal trauma to the organ, but there was nothing else." She looked at Sakura, stepping to the bed with a look on her face that made the younger kunoichi want to shrink away from. "You're sure there was no one else in Kumagakure that Shun could have been working with?"

"If he was, he hid it very well. I'm confident he was working alone and besides, he was more focused on killing important members of the village. None of the lower ranking shinobi were targeted." Sakura stared down at the boy on the bed, wishing she could look away. His lips trembled as he muttered incoherently and his eyes never blinking. It was haunting and Sakura feared she would never be able to forget it. Pursing her lips, she shook her head at Tsunade. "No, this isn't Shun. If he was poisoned, it was by someone else."

* * *

 

Sakura opened the front door with a push and dropped her keys on the table just inside the foyer. She winced at the sound and knew Kyo would gripe about the keys scratching the marble table top. Quickly, she hung the keys on the ring he had designated for her and sighed as she heard nothing but silence through the apartment. She hoped he was in a good mood and would rub the tension knots out of her shoulders. But, first, she wanted a very hot, very lengthy lay in the tub. She kicked her shoes off and turned toward the hallway to call out to Kyo who she was sure was in his office, pouring over his project. But the sight of someone else standing in the hallway, shoulder leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, made Sakura leap nearly out of her skin. She stumbled back into the door, her hand covering her mouth as Kakashi stared back at her, a hint of amusement behind his lazy gaze.

"What are you---" She hissed, taking a few steps forward before he brought a finger to his lips, shushing her. She faltered and stopped just as Kyo emerged from his office, hands full of unfolded blue prints. He handed them over to Kakashi before glancing over at Sakura, blinking in surprise.

"Oh, you're home." He crossed through to the foyer where she stood like a gaping fish and kissed her temple. "I was just letting Kakashi see the dimensions of the facility. He's going to lead a team to the location in a couple of weeks to guard the construction."

Sakura's heart beat fast in her throat as she glanced between the two men. To have them both standing a few feet from her, was bizarre and she felt as if the room was spinning. She tried to focus on the ninja that lay in the hospital room, knowing that a mission like this would be dangerous at a time like this, but she couldn't form the words. Instead, she nodded and hurried past the two men into the kitchen. She tried not to think about how she could smell him as she rushed by and focused on the bottle of water she desperately needed. She twisted the cap off and gulped nearly half at once, but it did little to cool her burning skin.

Her fingers trembled as she tried to recap the bottle. The thoughts that had been jumbled in her head like a train wreck all day felt as if they were on fire now and she truly felt confused in the presence of both her fiance and her lover. Would Kyo see the way she acted around him? Could he tell how her body reacted to just being near him. She wanted to pull her uniform off in the middle of the kitchen.

From the corner of her eye, she could see the two men discussing locations and possible plans for the research facility Kyo was planning. She watched Kakashi's fingers unfold one of the blue prints and nod as Kyo explained what he was wanting from the guard team. It felt as if they stood that way for hours, heads bent low toward the plans, with Sakura staring at them from the shadows of another room. Their voices mingled together until the combined in the same ringing that filled her head.

A phone ringing from the office made Sakura nearly leap out of her skin and she barely managed to catch the water bottle before it tumbled to the floor. Kyo thanked Kakashi and hurried into his office, instructing Sakura to see the shinobi to the door. The door to the office closed and Kakashi lifted his head to glance into the darkened kitchen where Sakura was frozen to the floor. Her breath was ragged and her heart beat was like a frenzied drum. "Walk me out?" He asked, breaking the silence. She was thankful he was able to.

Nodding, she glanced toward Kyo's closed office door, wishing she knew how long he would be on the phone. No, that didn't matter. She couldn't leave with Kakashi. That would be far too obvious. Fingers shaking, Sakura wrenched the front door open and lead him toward the elevator at the end of the hallway. The bell dinged above them and she bit her lip as the doors slid open. Before she could say anything to him, he gripped her wrist and spun her into the elevator.

Sakura felt a gasp in the back of her throat but his mouth covered hers before she could let it out. His mask slid down below his chin as the doors shut behind them and at the feel of his bare lips against hers, she felt her body sing praises to the heavens. With one hand, he pressed the 'stop' button and the elevator paused between the floors, his lips never leaving hers. His kiss was hungry and Sakura feared he would devour her whole. She pulled her skirt over her hips as his hands gripped her ass and lifted her.

Between them, his hands worked at the button of his pants and Sakura felt as if she might faint. Her head screamed that she was a foul woman for doing this so close to her fiance, but her body demanded it all. She couldn't stop. She wouldn't. She needed this as badly as she needed to breathe.

Sakura cried out and let her head fall back against the wall as Kakashi pulled her panties to the side and entered her. It had been too long since she had been filled by him and it felt just as heavenly as it had the first time. He waited, just for a second, for her to get used to him before he pushed all the way into her. She gasped and gripped the jacket around his shoulders, his breath hot against her neck.

He pressed a kiss to her throat as he moved, slowly at first. It was agonizing and she whimpered, needing more. She felt him smile as he sucked at the flesh over her collar bone, his hands gripping her hips with bruising fingers as he slid his cock slowly out of her. He used her hips, bringing her back down onto him, pushing as deep as he could go. Sakura felt as if she were being wound tightly and knew it wouldn't be long before she became unraveled. Her eyes rolled back as she closed them, her breath ragged as he did it all over again.

"Harder." She demanded in a whisper and Kakashi did as he was told. His fingers dug deep into her flesh as he pounded his hips against hers so hard she knew she would be bruised the next day. It didn't matter. The only thing she cared about was the way he felt inside her. She could feel the familiar pressure building between her thighs and begged for the release.

Kakashi groaned into her neck as he fucked her and Sakura moved her hands from their grip on his jacket to his face. She pulled him to her and kissed him in desperation, sliding her tongue against his. She wanted to taste him as she came. He moved faster inside her and she gasped, her body shaking as she felt herself coming. He held her and kissed her deeply as she whimpered around the waves that shook her to her core.

As the pleasure faded and Kakashi came inside her, Sakura could only feel shame rising from a pit deep inside her. It filled every corner of her body and ruined any kind of joy she had felt from Kakashi. He held her tight, her legs still wrapped around his waist as he came. She covered her mouth with her hand, unable to believe she had actually done this. He let her feet fall back to the floor of the elevator and she pushed the skirt of her uniform down to her knees. Her whole body trembled violently and she had to brace herself against the door to keep herself from sinking to the floor. She couldn't believe this was who she was.

God, she was a monster.

"Sakura..." Kakashi reached for her hand but she recoiled away from him. Hurt immediately filled his stare and she regretted it, but touching him always proved to end badly for her. She had to keep her distance because she didn't trust herself at all.

"What are we doing?" She asked, her eyes burning with tears. "This is a mistake."

"This is a mistake? Us?" His tone surprised her and she blinked in surprise at his anger. Kakashi pushed a hand through his hair and paced across the floor of the elevator. "I was in your apartment for over an hour tonight and I saw nothing of you there, you know that? There's not a single thing in there that is you. Fucking you behind your fiance's back may be a mistake, but you can't stand here and tell me you're not making a mistake being with him."

She felt as if she had been slapped across the face. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she was surprised by the embarrassment she felt burning her face. It was something she had noticed and buried deep inside her, excusing it as Kyo having his way set before she had moved in. It hadn't bothered her a bit until the night in the bar with Kakashi. To have him notice it in less than an hour made her tremble with anger and shame. "You can't be serious." She whispered, swiping at the tears on her face with her fingers. "You're lecturing _me_ on my relationship? How many have you ever had? Where's your perfect love and perfect girlfriend that makes you think you can judge me?"

Kakashi scoffed as he pulled his mask back up around his nose. "Just because I've never told you, doesn't mean I haven't had relationships. And _I_ was never cruel enough to cheat on them." Another slap to her face. Sakura stared at him as if he were a completely different person, her chin trembling as fresh tears spilled down her face. She pursed her lips and turned to the panel of buttons on the elevator. She pressed the '5' and hid her sob behind her hand as the car came back to life and started moving them upward. "We're over." She whispered. "Don't come near me again."

"Sakura--" He reached for her elbow and she jerked away from him, glaring at him from over her shoulder. The frantic look in his eyes made her nearly stumble back and told her that he was just as miserable as she had been these last few days. The doors opened but Kakashi stepped in front of Sakura, blocking her, his eyes desperate. He glanced back to make sure no one was in the hallway before he closed the doors at his back. Sakura knew she couldn't leave anyway. He had such a pull on her, even when she was shattered, she couldn't walk away. Kakashi smoothed his hand down her hair as he pulled her into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I had no right to judge you."

Sakura gripped his jacket and savored the feel of his arms tightly held around her. She inhaled his scent and closed her eyes for just a moment as she laid her head agains his chest. They stayed that way for several minutes, holding each other as if they would never get another chance to. Sakura hoped that wasn't true. She didn't want him to leave, but she knew he would have to. "I have to go." She whispered against his chest. He stepped back with a nod and opened the doors for her.

It took every bit of energy she had left to force her body to move and the few steps it took out of the elevator made her realize how drained she was. Kakashi said nothing, only watching her with hurt written across his face as the doors shut between them. Sakura stood rooted to the spot for several seconds, watching the numbers above her light up until they went dim. He was gone and she was left just as broken hearted as she feared she would be.

She didn't know how long she had been gone and at that point, she really didn't care if Kyo noticed. A part of her wanted him to find out about her affair, for this to finally be over. Sakura made her way back to the apartment where she was completely absent. Kakashi had been right. There was nothing of her there except for a box that Kyo kept hidden in a spare closet. She let the door slam behind her but was only met with silence. His office door was still closed and she could hear him speaking to someone on the phone. He had never even noticed her gone.

Sakura made her way through the kitchen to grab the bottle of water she had forgotten on the counter and passed through the hall like a ghost. Kyo laughed to whoever he was talking to and she paused by his door, leaning her ear against it to listen. "You know how it is. You take one step forward and two steps back with every project. Trust me, this is only a minor set back..." His voice disappeared behind her as she made her way to the bathroom.

White marble floors, white pedestal sink, blindingly bright lights...It was all so pure and clean and she hated that it made her feel so dirty in comparison. She turned the water on for the tub and pulled her wrinkled uniform over her head. Her thighs ached and she glanced at her reflection, not surprised by the purple marks across her flesh where his fingers had pressed so hard. She didn't care. She had gotten what she had wanted, all questions of what if's cleared from her mind with another dose of her drug. The withdrawals were out of her system, leaving only the bitter after taste of the shame for what she had done.

As she lowered herself into the scalding water of her bath, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Now that her mind was clear, she longed for the mess of thoughts that had clouded her head for days. She hadn't needed clarity, after all. She had just needed Kakashi.

* * *

 

 


	5. Chapter Five

* * *

 

  _~I will burn for you_  
_Feel pain for you_  
_I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart_  
_And tear it apart_ ~

* * *

 

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* * *

 

Sakura stared down at the silver band around the third finger on her left hand and wondered why it was so loose. She recalled the last time she had truly inspected it, on Ino's birthday and remembered how it had sat prettily against her knuckle, sparkling every time if caught the light. It was almost blinding the way it reflected the light into her eyes at times.

Now, as she spun the diamond around and stared down into it, there was no sparkling, no twinkle that she had to shield her eyes away from. Sakura followed it with her eyes as she reached out to grasp the glass of wine in front of her and even as she brought it to her lips, the ring sat under her nose, dull and lifeless. It was a perfect symbol for what her life had become, at no one's fault but her own.

The band was loose around her finger and she knew she had neglected a few meals the past three weeks, not wanting to eat when the urge to vomit hardly left her body. Nothing tasted right, and her stomach never stopped aching despite filling it. She had stopped trying a few days ago. Kyo noticed, remarking that starving herself was unhealthy even if she wanted to fit into her wedding gown.

Sakura almost laughed at him, but kept it buried deep in her chest. Instead, she nodded to him and admitted that she was just scared she wouldn't look her best for him. It didn't matter to her how she looked anymore. She had completely let her fiance take over her life. He ordered her food, picked out her clothes to wear on their night out, and even gave her permission to consume a bit of wine. It was easier to let him take control than to think she could resist the urge to keep away from Kakashi...

Her throat clenched and she tore her gaze away from her ring, thrusting her hands into her lap and under the black table cloth. She refused to think about it. There was nothing left to think about, anyway. Their affair was finished. Their moment in the elevator of Kyo's building had been the final moment that broke Sakura. She couldn't stand this monster she had become, hated looking at herself in the mirror, hated the uncontrollable desire she felt for another man.

Though she hadn't told him officially, she had done everything in her power to avoid him. She requested fewer shifts at the hospital, took the route that he wasn't familiar with on her way home, and dove head first in preparing for a wedding she was still so unsure about to occupy her thoughts and time. Any time Kyo suggesting they meet friends for dinner, she agreed and let him dress her up, mold her into the bride he wanted.

He had taken her to one of his favorite restaurants to meet the couple she wasn't too fond of and they sat across the table from them now. She forced laughter at their jokes, always a second or two too late. Thankfully, no one noticed her lack of contribution to the conversations. There wasn't much chance to get a word in, anyway.

The man was one of Kyo's business partner who happened to be ridiculously wealthy and was helping fun the research facility. The mention of the plans made Sakura's mind flash back to the night she had came home to find Kakashi in her foyer, the sight of him leaning against the wall, smirking at her was forever burned into her memory. Each time she walked through their front door, there he was...only to disappear in the following moment, as if he had never been there at all.

"Well, something has to be done." He said, leaning forward to grab his glass from the table. Sakura pinched her eyebrows together as she racked her brain for his name. She had heard it earlier in the night, but couldn't care to remember it. D...D something...

Kyo nodded from beside her and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her a bit closer as she searched through her memories for the name. "I agree. I shudder to think about raising children in a world where this could happen again, Daichi." Aha! Daichi...Sakura frowned as she looked from her fiance to the couple across from them, realizing she had no idea what they were talking about.

"Where what could happen?" She asked, glancing around the table. The woman's name was Kaiya and she constantly had a look about her face as if she were sniffing some foul smell, her upper lip curled in disgust. She had picked at her food more than Sakura, barely taking two bites before declaring she was absolutely stuffed. Immediately after pushing her plate away, she had plucked a cigarette from her handbag and lit it, ignoring the nasty looks from the other patrons at the cloud of smoke that surrounded the table.

Kyo looked at her and tilted his head to the side, chuckling as if he were insulted she hadn't been paying attention. He shifted in his seat. "You've been thinking about the wedding too much. Always on your brain." He kissed her forehead as Kaiya forced a tight, obviously fake smile before taking a long drag of her cigarette. "Daichi's heard rumors of rogue ninjas around the village. Apparently, a shinobi has been attacked."

Yes, she remembered all too well the ninja at the hospital, laying in the bed, staring wide eyed up at the ceiling, muttering nonsense under his breath. There had been no change in his condition and both Sakura and Tsunade were baffled. They could make nothing of it, and were no closer to helping him even after several weeks. He laid in the bed still, secluded in the psychiatric ward, with only access to his parents and medical staff.

Sakura felt a chill roll across her arms as she thought of his gaze before turning back to her fiance. "There's always been rogue ninja. Konoha is safe."

Daichi smirked and spun his wine glass around the table, staring at her from over the arrangement of flowers that sat between the two couples. A dark look passed over his eyes and he glanced at Kyo briefly. Despite the glance lasting less than a second, Sakura couldn't help but feel as if they had communicated silently between them. She frowned and wished she had been paying attention from the beginning.

"Sakura, you of all people should know how dangerous these missing nin are. Considering who was one of your team mates in the past..." He raised an eyebrow as Kaiya blew a cloud of smoke around the table.

Sakura sat up and waved her hand through it, dispersing it to the table beside them. "Sasuke? He's not a threat anymore. He's keeping away from Konoha to protect the village."

Both Daichi and the woman at his side laughed bitterly sharing an amused look that made Sakura's blood boil inside her veins. As far as she knew, they had never even met Sasuke. They had no clue what they were even talking about. Kyo sat up and rubbed his palm across her bare shoulders and she resisted the urge to jerk away from his touch. She was angry that these two people could stoop so low as to judge someone they had never met. They had no right and were only being snobs to make themselves feel bigger.

"I think Daichi and Kaiya are just concerned that it might happen again. The Hokage has told us that precautions have been taken to assure it won't, but that has been said so many times before. We're only suggesting that the leaders and shinobi of the hidden villages shouldn't be so confident in laws and rules that have failed so many times in the past." He smoothed her hair down her head and as his fingers rest against the back of her neck, Sakura felt disoriented. She had never heard him express these kinds of feelings before. He doubted the Hokage, doubted the shinobi's ability to protect the village, and in turn, doubted her.

The couple across the table stared back at Sakura strangely, their eyes narrowed as the tension grew between them. They felt the same and she could almost feel the disgust they held toward the village. Sakura's mouth went dry and she could feel her stomach clench tightly inside her, causing the constant ache to grow. She shook her head. "It won't happen again. Not like last time. Sasuke wouldn't..."

By the look on their faces, she could tell that whatever she said, would go in one ear and right out the other. They had no desire to hear what she had to say. They had made up their minds a long time ago.

"I think the conversation has taken quite a grim turn," Kyo said through a small laugh, raising his hand to the waiter across the room. "How about another bottle of wine before we go home?" Daichi and Kaiya both agreed and put the subject immediately behind them. They dove quickly into discussing future plans, trips the four of them could take to exotic resorts, and what Kyo plans for the honeymoon. Sakura couldn't keep her mind off of Kyo's words.

Two hours later, she stood in front of her vanity mirror in their bedroom and slipped her dress off of her shoulders. She watched the material fall to her feet in a heap of violet before letting her eyes drift up the reflection of her body. She was far too thin and the sight of her hip bones made her eyes prick with hot tears. It was as if her body was in protest, refusing to be healthy until it had what it wanted back. Her arms ached to wrap around Kakashi, her lips begging to feel his just one more time.

Sakura bit her lip hard enough to taste metal on the tip of her tongue and she turned away from the mirror, disgusted with herself. It had been three weeks since he had left her in the hallway, three weeks of agony and three weeks that she had tortured herself but it was never enough. She still felt sick to her stomach. She was being haunted by him. Despite how desperately hard she was trying to stay away, in her mind was a constant begging to give in.

The toilet flushed behind the door in the hallway and she gasped, quickly swiping at the tears that had spilled over her eyelids. Kyo barely looked at her as he began unbuttoning his dress shirt in front of his personal closet. He neatly folded every piece of clothing he removed and Sakura glanced at her neglected pile of dress on the floor. She reached for it and followed his movements, folding it carefully and placing it on the vanity stool.

She stood and watched as he closed the distance between them, his hands snaking around her hips to her empty stomach. His fingers dug into the flesh stretched tight across her ribs and his mouth kissed hungrily across the tops of her shoulders. Sakura could only watch her reflection, hating the way she wished his dark hair would turn silver, and that his face would be hidden behind a familiar slip of black fabric. She hated herself for wishing it were Kakashi behind her.

* * *

 

Kakashi glared into the empty cup in his fists, watching the three ice cubes melt slowly around each other. A few drops of amber liquor had settled in the bottom and were quickly disappearing as the ice melted. He refused to let his mind drift away from concentrating solely on the cubes. He didn't want to think anymore. What was the point when it always turned to her?

He clenched his jaw behind his mask and watched a droplet of water sweat down the side of the glass, dangling for a few seconds before dripping onto the table beneath his elbows. For a split second, the tiny droplet had caught the light from the neon above him, and glowed bright pink before splattering on the wood. It was a color he had seen a thousand times, and one he had grown quite fond of.

It never failed to remind him of her. It was the color of her hair, spilling down her back and across her shoulders as he ran his hands over her body. It was the same color her cheeks had turned that night in the bar, when she had almost kissed him. It was a beautiful color and it haunted him.

With a heavy sigh, Kakashi put the glass down on the table and pushed it away from him. He didn't want another drink, despite his head practically begging for it. Anything to black his thoughts out for a few hours. He fished a few bills from his pocket before throwing them onto the table and making his way toward the door.

It was late; later than he had intended to stay out. Truthfully, he had been hoping he would be drunk by now. Sitting alone in his house, his mind always crept to her. He couldn't get her out of his head, no matter what he tried. One minute it was her face, eyes closed, lips parted as she moaned his name in a desperate whisper, and the next it was the fear and disgust she had looked at him with the last night he had seen her. Both tore his heart into pieces.

The night was crisp and the soft, cold breeze struck his skin like tiny needles. He welcomed it and turned his face toward the inky sky. There was no moon tonight, only an endless sea of black clouds and Kakashi shook his head, heading back toward his empty home. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and turned a corner, nearly colliding with a man carrying a white, plastic bag in his fist.

Kakashi put his hands up, an apology at the tip of his tongue until he realized who he had nearly smacked into. Iruka stumbled back, his eyes wide in surprise at the sight of his friend before a smile broke out over his face. "Kakashi! I didn't expect to see you out so late!"

"It was such a nice night for a walk, I couldn't resist." He hoped his voice didn't sound as bitter as he felt.

Iruka nodded and lifted the plastic bag at his side, shaking it a bit. "Ran out of cat food. She can be a real bother if I let her go too hungry." He chuckled to himself as silence stretched between the old friends. It was obvious to Iruka that there was something troubling Kakashi. The man usually loved dumb jokes, but tonight, he stood stone still. Iruka frowned and let his head fall to the side. "You okay?"

It was several minutes before Kakashi responded. He had never been one to share his feelings, never had to. He was more than capable of dealing with his own issues over the years of his life. He had dealt with things far more difficult than this, but his heart was aching to be heard. Glancing sideways to Iruka, Kakashi sighed and bit his lip. "I've certainly been better."

"Do you want to talk? I've got to feed my cat, but you're welcome to join me. I've got few beers."

His immediate response was to chuckle and decline the offer, but something inside Kakashi stopped him. It held fast to his words and kept them buried deep in his throat. He raked his fingers through his hair and glanced down at the bag in Iruka's hand to the bag of cat food. Defeated, Kakashi nodded and followed his friend down the dusty, dark street.

Iruka passed him a beer and shut the fridge with the back of his foot before lowering himself into the chair across the kitchen table from Kakashi. The hungry cat that had been desperate for food was now too curious about the stranger to bother with her full bowl. She twirled around Kakashi's feet, purring as she rubbed her face against his pants leg. He reached down and scratched under her chin and she responded with a soft meow.

He twisted the cap from his beer bottle and stared into the opening as cold mist floated out and over the rim. He knew Iruka was waiting for him to start talking, but he honestly had no idea what to say. It wasn't easy admitting to doing something terrible, something that might make his friend look at him with disgust. It was a look he had seen in his mirror every day since they had came back from Kumogakure...His heart broke to see it on Sakura's face, and Kakashi didn't think he could stand seeing it on anyone else.

He sighed and pulled his mask down, taking a long sip of the beer. It wasn't his choice of alcohol, but it wasn't terrible. He welcomed anything that numbed the sharp ache in his gut. "I've done something stupid." Kakashi muttered as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

From across the table, Iruka scoffed and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Who hasn't?"

"This isn't a normal hiccup, or mistake." Kakashi shook his head, picking at the label around the beer bottle with his thumb nail. "This is-- was--morally wrong."

"Okay..." Iruka scratched at his chin. "Aside from murder, I can't imagine it being that bad."

Kakashi scoffed and glanced at his friend's own beer. He couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye. He wanted to avoid that look that he knew was inevitable. "I started a relationship with someone--"

"Well, that's not bad--"

"--who has a fiance." Kakashi hated the silence that stretched between them. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, cursing the burning ache that stretched behind his eyes. It was the same pain that started anytime he was reminded about how completely stupid he had been. And each time he gave into his desire, proving to himself he truly was weak and stupid, the ache grew until it was a thundering drum inside his head. "I tried so hard to resist." He muttered, thinking back to their days in Kumagakure.

He had tried to resist and it was agonizing each time he denied her. It was agony now, to sit in Iruka's house, to be anywhere without her. "I tried but I failed. And I knew... every time, I knew how dispicable and awful I was for giving in but I couldn't stop myself." He let his hands fall to the table in defeat. Saying the words out loud was having a strange effect on him. He felt better about the situation, but hearing him speak it out loud only reminded him how horrible it all was.

"She's just as much to blame as you are, Kakashi. I know you have a habit of carrying the burden alone, but you weren't alone in this." Iruka cleared his throat and sat forward. "Is this, uhm, affair still happening?"

Kakashi shook his head and pushed a hand through his hair. He didn't want Sakura to ruin her life over their mistakes. She deserved to be happy, to have the wedding and future she needed. He wasn't sure he could offer her any of that. "No, I'm pretty sure I fucked it up. Which, is a good thing. But, I'm selfish, and I don't want it to be over."

"Kakashi, this isn't healthy. You have to let this end."

"I can't." Something inside Kakashi's broken, blackened heart twisted and he nearly gasped at the feeling. He had pushed it so far down inside himself that it had turned to rot, fueling his hate for himself, begging for the numbness and black outs. It shifted and contorted inside him and Kakashi felt a new kind of fear creep through his body.

"Why can't you?" Iruka asked.

"Because, I'm in love with her."

* * *

 


	6. Chapter Six

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_I can't decide_  
_This tug of war_  
_I'm feeling weak_

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_._

* * *

Sakura stared down into the bowl of ramen, following the steam as it rose up and disappeared. She had finally gotten around to treating Naruto, to pay him back for letting her crash on his couch. He had scratched his head as she stood on his doorstep, not remembering the instance she was referring to. It only made her feel worse that she had put it off for as long as she had.

But, Naruto wasn't one to turn down free Ichiraku and he wasted no time slurping up his meal. He glanced at Sakura as he shoved an enormous bite into his mouth. "You not hungry?" He asked, his words muffled by the mouthful of food.

Good thing she had spent years hearing him talk with his mouth full of food. She gave a small shrug and swirled her spoon around the bowl, pushing a few noodles to the side. "I had a big breakfast." She lied. She took a bite of the dish before pushing her bowl across the table.

"You sure?" He asked, already dipping his spoon into her ramen. She didn't bother answering. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared out into the street at a mother tugging her toddler along as they went. Her finger was marked by a familiar gold band and it made Sakura glance down at her own ring. She twisted it around her finger nervously before glancing quickly at the man across from her. He was busy enjoying himself and she was thankful that he hadn't bombarded her with questions. She loved Ino to death, but she was getting tired of the inquisitions. Mostly because she had no idea how to answer them when she had so many of her own questions.

"Naruto?" She asked, before she even knew what she wanted to ask.

"Mm?" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he looked up at her.

Sakura cut her eyes away, back to where the mother and child had stood looking in the window of the shop across the street. They had moved on and Sakura couldn't help wondering if that could ever be her. The thought made her stomach tighten. She licked her dry lips and stared down at the table. "Have you ever had to choose between two...things. Two different things and whatever you chose, you could never go back to the other one..."

He stayed quiet for a moment and Sakura felt a bubble of nervous laughter making its way up her chest. She wanted to laugh it off, tell him she was just kidding and go back to listening him slurp up his ramen. Instead, she looked at him and realized her fingers were trembling in her lap. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...say there's two different...ice cream flavors. And you can only have one and the one you choose will be the only one you can have for the rest of your life...how would you choose?"

"We're not talking about ice cream are we?"

Damn. She was hoping he wouldn't pick up on anything underlying in her words but he was always surprisingly astute to her feelings. Pursing her lips to keep them from quivering she gave a small shrug. "Just pretend we are."

Naruto sat back in his seat and put his hands behind his head, watching her with an unblinking gaze. He knew that she was flailing, barely keeping her head above the water...she could see it in his eyes that he knew something was wrong and she prayed that he wouldn't pressure her. She had kept so much bottled in that it truly did feel like she was about to explode from it all.

But, he gave a small shrug and leaned forward, moving the two empty bowls to the side. "I guess I would pick the one I didn't think I could live without. Or neither."

Sakura blinked. "What do you mean? You just would never eat ice cream again?"

"There are other flavors. Why limit yourself to these two that are causing you so much distress?" He smiled and stretched his arms over his head. Sakura stared at him for several seconds as he sat, proud of his sudden wisdom. Why had she never thought of it? It had always been so black in white in her mind...Of course, she could always choose neither. But, that begged a whole new question. Could she bring herself to do something that could possibly heart two people and save herself? It felt selfish, as if she were jumping from a sinking ship while people were stuck on board. She swallowed and ducked her head. "Thank you," she said, smiling up at him. "You're really insightful, you know?"

"Oh, I know. Now, lets go get some ice cream."

As Naruto lead the way out onto the sidewalk, Sakura ducked her head under the painted canvas that flapped gently in the breeze. She brushed her hair from her face as it snagged on the frayed edges of the cloth and wished she had brought a pair of sunglasses. The sun was high over Konoha and though it wasn't particularly warm, it was far too bright for her liking. She pulled the zipper of her jacket up to her chest as she glanced across the street. Beside her, Naruto stretched his arms over his head with a groan and patted his bloated belly but Sakura froze, her fingers still pinching her zipper and her eyes focused on someone else.

A news stand across the street was particularly busy for a Tuesday afternoon but a line had formed behind the small display of magazines and assorted cigarettes and candy. One person in particular caught Sakura's eye immediately. Kakashi's head of silver hair shone bright in the sunshine and she felt as if she had been punched in the gut at the sight of him talking to the girl behind the counter. The girl blushed and ducked her head with a giggle as Kakashi purchased a newspaper from her and Sakura couldn't help the jealousy that licked at her insides like a raging fire.

Naruto said something but she couldn't hear. Every thing was drowned out by a faint screaming echoing inside her head as she watched the man she had been avoiding for weeks speak to someone new. Had he moved on? Why wouldn't he? She had purposefully secluded herself in the apartment for the past three weeks to keep herself away from him. For all he knew, she was immersed completely in her wedding plans and future. The thought made her empty stomach nauseous and Sakura turned to her friend, touching his arm as she smiled apologetically.

"You know, I completely forgot I was supposed to speak with Shizune today about something. I'll take a rain check on the ice cream."

"Okay, thanks for lunch!" He called after her but she was already heading in the opposite direction.

She kept a bit of distance between her and Kakashi, walking quickly on the side walk across the street from him. He clutched the rolled up newspaper under his arm as he strolled along, hands in his pockets and head ducked just a bit. He didn't seem as flirty and happy as he had moments before and Sakura slowed. She felt like a total creep, following him from across the street without him knowing like she was some sort of stalker.

Pursing her lips, she crossed over to the opposite side of the road and reached out to touch his elbow. He turned with a slight start, his eyes full of surprise before slowly fading to a sadness that made Sakura's throat clench tight. They stood facing one another in front of an out of business store, the windows boarded up and the lights forever dark and neither could find the words to say. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and have him hold her. She longed for the safety and comfort she had felt in his arms so many months ago.

Kakashi cleared his throat and grabbed her elbow, guiding her out of the way as a group of older women made their way passed, gossiping to one another. With a blush of her cheeks, Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear and watched them until they were far enough out of earshot. "How are you?" He asked first, his gaze concerned as he studied the dark circles under her eyes. She ducked her head and glanced to their feet.

"I'm..." ' _Horrible, depressed, missing you more than anything_.' "I'm good." She lied, biting the inside of her lip to keep herself quiet.

"Good."

More silence stretched between them and all Sakura could think about was the last time she had seen him, staring at her with such hurt and sorrow from the elevator. They had said horrible things to each other and the bitter taste was still on the back of her tongue. Her eyes burned as she tried to keep the tears away and her throat tightened around the words she wanted to say. "I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you...that night." She said finally, closing her eyes with a deep breath, hoping he didn't catch the quiver in her voice.

"You don't have anything to apologize for." Kakashi took a step closer and she could feel the panic start to bubble up under her skin at his nearness. They were less than an arm's length away from one another and she was afraid someone would see. Yet, she made no move to step back. It was just as it had been in Kumogakura when he would stand close to her and her body did what it wanted despite how much she protested in her head. This was the first time in weeks that she could reach out and touch him if she wanted to. She wasn't moving. Sakura looked up at him and shook her head.

"I have a million things to apologize for, actually. I just..." She bit her lip and stared down at her fingers as she nervously picked at her thumbnail. Her heart beat so fast inside her chest she felt a bit dizzy. Taking a deep breath, she looked up into his face and blew a strand of hair away from her face. "I miss you." Her words were barely a whisper but she knew he had heard her. His eyebrow lifted just a bit as he glanced down at her, his eyes falling to her lips.

The noise of the village around them fell away and Sakura could only feel the sun above her as Kakashi reached for her and pressed his palm to her cheek. She leaned into his touch, her lips parting with a shaking breath as she let her eyes flutter close. Her fingers trembled and she felt the knot in her stomach that had grown so much the last few weeks begin to unravel inside her, giving her just a glimpse of relief. "Sakura," Kakashi said quietly, moving just an inch closer, his fingers still caressing her jaw. "There's something I need to tell you."

She opened her eyes and frowned at the pained look across his eyes. Before she could ask him what he needed to tell her, she heard a familiar voice call out to her. Frowning, Sakura glanced around Kakashi to see Ino hurrying through the crowded street. "Sakura!" She called out, dodging the group of old women who were scurrying across the road to one of the dress shops. They cried out in anger at being separated and nearly shoved over but Ino ignored them as she ran.

She skidded to a halt on the sidewalk and by the frantic look in her eyes, Sakura knew something was wrong. Her stomach clenched suddenly and she reached out to grab the girl's arm. "You have to come quick. The shinobi in room 214...he's missing." Ino glanced from her to Kakashi and back again, her eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion. Her jaw fell open slightly and Sakura knew the pieces of the puzzle she had been trying to fit together were finally falling into place.

Sakura ignored the look on her friend's face and took her by the shoulders, bringing her attention and focus back on the situation. "What do you mean he's missing?"

Ino shook her head, blonde pony tail bobbing over her shoulder. "He's just gone. No one can find him," As Sakura turned toward the direction of the hospital, a hand grabbed her elbow and Ino whirled her back around. Her blue eyes were wide and full of worry, making Sakura's stomach drop. "That's not all. Another shinobi was attacked. Shizune needs you."

Sakura glanced quickly over her friend's shoulder to Kakashi before turning to run, taking the fastest way to the hospital that she could. People and buildings flew by in a blur but she couldn't run fast enough. Her heart pounded hard and she ran through the protocol for poisonings in her mind, the whole situation feeling as urgent and mysterious as what had happened in Kumogakura. They couldn't be connected though. Shun was dead. She had seen Kakashi put a hand through his chest, had watched his lifeless body slump to the dirt and had been so relieved he was finally gone. No. She refused to believe it.

The emergency department was toward the back of the building and it was packed for such a mundane afternoon. A child had his hand wrapped in a bloody towel, fat tears rolling down his cheeks while a woman moaned that she was in a great amount of pain from her ingrown toenail. Sakura hurried through the crowd, recognizing a nurse that was making her way through the triage. She dodged around an elderly man barely wheeling his wheelchair and took the woman by the shoulders, startling her. "Have you seen Shizune?" She asked.

"Room eleven!"

Sakura turned back the opposite way and glanced to see both Ino and Kakashi following her through the hall. She could already hear the commotion in the room at the end of the hall, even six doors away and her heart pounded loudly in her ears. A thousand thoughts filled her panicking mind and she realized that she was shaking hard by the time she passed door ten. The world passed by her in slow motion and she could hear the squeak of her tennis shoes across the tile floor as she skidded around the corner.

The room was one they restricted for intensive care, and today it was absolutely packed with nurses and medics. Laying across the bed was another shinobi, writing in pain as he tried to claw his fingers into his face. He screamed in agony as four women held his arms down at his sides and Sakura wanted to cover her ears to block the sound.

She stepped into the room and snatched a pair of gloves off of the wall, slipping them on quickly as she found Shizune at the patient's head. A bubble of green chakra flowed from her fingers into the man's chest and she could see the intense concentration across the medic's face. "Sakura, I need you to take my place." She ordered and Sakura stood next to her, her palms faced down, ready to take over.

"What happened?"

"He was brought in by his teammates. Something stung him while on patrol." Shizune pulled her chakra from his chest and shook her head with a string of curse words flying from her mouth. She barreled around the bed and ordered a nurse to get a sedative. Sakura pursed her lips as she gathered her chakra into her hands and pushed it past the shinobi's exposed chest. His heart was beating alarmingly fast but with a quick pass through, she could find nothing affecting it. She moved onto his lungs, his liver, and remaining organs. There was no trace of anything, just like the last ninja she had examined.

The man curled his arms and sent the two nurses at his elbows sprawling to the floor, jarring the bed into Sakura's hips. Her chakra slipped from his body and she stumbled back in shock. He managed to scrape his fingernails down both sides of his face, drawing blood almost instantly from the wounds. "Kakashi!" Sakura called, instructing him to hold the patient's arms down.

He was at the bed in an instant and had better luck controlling him than the other nurses. Sakura took her place back at the top of the bed, knowing this was no allergic reaction to a bee sting. "Where was he stung?" She asked as a nurse readied the sedative. Kakashi held the ninja's arm out and she plunged the needle into his vein. Sakura doubted it would do much help.

"They said he told them a wasp had stung him in the neck. I couldn't find a stinger." Shizune said as she lowered herself to examine his neck again. She ran a thumb over a small puncture wound and Sakura shook her head.

"Because there isn't one." With her hands on either side of the ninja's head, Sakura closed her eyes and concentrated a small thread of chakra into her palms. She pushed it into his temples as he breathed through clenched teeth, hissing as the sedative began to take hold of him. Working into someone's brain was a delicate process, one that had far too many risks, but they were running out of time. The chakra thread moved through the folds of the brain carefully, seeking out anything that didn't belong.

A dull ache grew behind Sakura's eyes as she squeezed them tight, forcing the chakra in her hands to move on. She could hear herself reciting the research on the cerebrum that she had done years earlier under Tsunade's tutelage. Her own voice beat like a drum inside her head as she searched through the Medulla. Her chakra touched an oily, black substance clinging to the brain stem and she gasped, carefully peeling it away.

With one hand, she pulled it out of his head while she continued the search with the other. Sweat began to bead up at the small of her back and she felt her knees trembling. The edges of her vision grew shaky and narrowed as if she were in a tunnel. 'Just a few more seconds', she told herself. "Get a test tube." She muttered to the medic beside her as she pushed the remaining chakra thread into the cerebellum. The oily substance she had found was making its way upward into his brain and Sakura coiled her chakra around every drop she could find, pulling it slowly away from his skull.

Shizune was quick to bottle it and though most of the poison had made its way into his brain, Sakura was sure they removed enough to slow the affects. The ninja was quiet now, the monitors hooked up to his heart beeping in time with his quickened pulse. Sakura blinked her eyes to see the room spin out from beneath her as her head swam with dizziness and black began to creep across her vision. She stumbled away from the bed, the sound of her name being called muffled in her ears as she put her hands out and caught herself on a rolling cart. Several trays clattered along the ground as she struggled to keep herself standing.

She felt completely drained of energy and wanted nothing more than to lay down and go to sleep. A hand on her shoulder made her shake her head and she half expected to find Kakashi at her side, face full of worry. But, it was Shizune who took her by the elbow and led her out to the hallway and into an empty exam room. "I'm fine." She mumbled, but knew they wouldn't believe her. Even she was surprised by the fatigue in her voice.

She was lowered into a chair and a bright, white light shone suddenly into her eye as Shizune looked her face over. "You're awfully pale." The medic said grimly, pursing her lips before standing.

"I'm alright. I just...I skipped lunch."

The chaos from before had died down now that the poisoned shinobi had been sedated and was quiet in the room next door. The crowd of medical personnel that had gathered was thinning and Sakura was glad she didn't have so many eyes staring at her as she sat, pale faced and trembling in the corner of an exam room. Shizune had her wrist in her fingers, counting her pulse as her eyes stayed fixed on her watch. "I'm fine." Sakura persisted but she knew she didn't have the energy to move away from her.

One of the nurses hurried back into the room carrying a pack of crackers and a cup of juice. She handed them off to Sakura who nodded in thanks and kept her eyes anywhere but toward the two faces in the hallway that stared in at her. Ino's bright blue eyes were full of concern and Sakura knew she had been surprised by her nearly fainting, though she probably suspected why. She was the only one who truly knew what was going on in Sakura's life....besides Kakashi. But, even knowing all that Sakura was going through, Ino couldn't know the full extent of it and Sakura was faced with how bad she had let herself get. Not eating, not sleeping, and constantly worrying over every single detail of her life was slowly driving her mad and her body was responding by shutting down. She just wanted to sleep.

Sakura kept her eyes down at the crackers in her lap, despite how badly she wanted to look up and see Kakashi. But, she couldn't bring herself to look at him at the moment. She would be too tempted to run into his arms.

"Your pulse is low. You said you didn't eat lunch?" Shizune plucked the pack of crackers from Sakura's hand and opened them, handing her one of the salty squares. With a sigh, Sakura took it and bit into the corner, scowling up at the woman who apparently didn't trust her with a few crackers. "No. I haven't had much of an appetite lately."

"Have you had any headaches, Nausea or vomiting?"

"Headaches and nausea." Sakura answered hesitantly. She didn't like where these questions were leading to and she shifted in the chair, setting the plastic cup of juice between her legs.

"When was your last..." Shizune cast a glance out to the two figures in the hallway and pursed her lips, annoyed they were within hearing distance. She quickly crossed the room and shut the door, despite a sudden protest from Ino. "Do you remember the date of your last period?"

Now, Sakura felt the urge to throw up. She wanted to laugh and wave her off, that there was no way she could possibly be pregnant, but that wasn't the case. Gulping the dry lump of crackers down her throat, she thought back to the past few months. She remembered a period right after coming back from Kumogakura...it had only lasted the three days she had sat miserable in Kyo's apartment...before she had went to meet Kakashi outside the village. It had been before she and had met him in the elevator too...Sakura's mouth felt hot and sticky as her mind raced over the question. "Since right after I came back." Her voice was barely a whisper, even though she was forcing herself to speak with all of her might. The words didn't want to come out. She didn't want to hear herself speak them.

"Could it be possible you're--"

"No." She croaked, shaking her head. The cracker in her hands crumbled as she clenched her fist around it. "I'm fine. Honestly, I've just been trying to skip a few meals to lose some weight before the wedding." Using the wedding as an excuse made her hate herself just a tiny bit more but, she had to say something to get Shizune to leave her alone. Anyone who knew Sakura, knew that she wouldn't starve herself on purpose to lose a few pounds. She just hoped Shizune was too wrapped up in what happened earlier to realize.

The medic nin pursed her lips and her eyes told Sakura that she most definitely suspected her of lying, but she didn't push the subject. Instead, Shizune scrubbed a hand over her face with a heavy sigh that made her shoulders droop even lower. "I have to write up a report for the Hokage to see. I'm sure she'll be paying you a visit afterward to hear" She made her way to the door, her hand on the doorknob before she turned to glance back at Sakura. "Get some rest, okay?"

Sakura nodded and glanced into the hallway as the door opened. Both Ino and Kakashi had left and she breathed a small sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted was to try to explain to them what had happened, or why she was feeling as drained as she was. She had too much work to do, more important things to worry about than nearly fainting.

In her office, Sakura had decided to move on and forget about the question Shizune had asked her, no matter how much they nagged and begged to be answered in the back of her head. She squeezed her eyes shut before pressing the back button on the computer screen. She had sent for the security tapes from the morning to see if she could spot anything suspicious going on in room 214.

She had watched the same nurse nearly thirty times, carrying extra blankets and a blood pressure cuff, go in the room, stay for 15 minutes, and exit. There was absolutely nothing suspicious about a nurse making her rounds and according to the security guards, they had questioned her for two hours until she was in tears. Sakura chewed on the last cracker from the pack she had gotten from Shizune and watched the computer screen again.

Her eyes burned as she studied every pixel on the screen, waiting for something, anything to jump out at her. Each time, the same video played and she was left with just as many questions as before. He had just vanished. Even the video of the exterior of the hospital didn't show anything. It was in the wrong angle and room 214's window was just out of view.

Sakura sighed and pressed her fingers to her eyes, cursing herself for not being more attentive to her job. Sure, everyone thought her absence was all due to wedding planning and no one blamed her...but she blamed herself. She had let everything come between her and what she truly loved about herself. This situation with Kyo and Kakashi was creating a rift in her life, a gaping maw that grew bigger and bigger every damn day. And now, she could only think about the possibility of being pregnant and how much worse it would make everything.

She stared at the paused screen for several seconds before resting her hand against her lower belly. With just a small push of her chakra, she could find out for herself, could answer at least one question that haunted her mind...But, she couldn't even bring herself to try. The possibility of finding something there terrified her and left her fingers shaking. She put her hands on her desk just as someone knocked on the door to her office.

She cleared her throat and hoped she didn't look completely freaked out before telling whoever it was that they could come in. The door opened slowly and Sakura's heart leapt into her throat at the sight of Kakashi, leaning a shoulder against the door frame. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, wanted to jump over her desk full of unfinished paperwork and pull him into her arms. She didn't though.

He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, leaving just a crack before sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. He sat forward and put his elbows on his knees. "How are you feeling?"

Her mouth felt dry and hot and she tried not to think about what she had been trying to do before he knocked on her door. Glancing toward the computer screen, Sakura gave a sigh. "Tired...Frustrated. I feel like a failure."

"Don't. You probably saved that kid's life and you should be proud of that." He smiled, the corners of his mask lifting a bit over his cheeks. It made Sakura's heart skip a beat and she realized she had missed that smile so much. His words were sweet and she truly appreciated them, though they didn't change her mind. She was ashamed she had been neglecting her life as a medic. "You look exhausted."

She scoffed and shrugged in defeat. "I am." She said, before looking at him. He had the same dark circles under his eyes and though he always had a sleepy, passive gaze, she could tell he was missing a few nights of sleep as well. The thought of crawling into bed beside him, just to sleep, sounded wonderful and it made a bit of color flush her cheeks. She licked her dry lips and sat still, enjoying the opportunity to just look at him. It had been so long that they had a quiet moment to just be in each other's company. It made her long for their days in that room they shared, being so close and unable to let themselves touch.

She had missed the spark she had felt and slowly, it flickered inside her, warming her cold heart. It didn't matter how many weeks she avoided him, or how much distance there was between them, she would always want him. Her heart ached and burned for him so suddenly she was afraid she wouldn't be able to breathe. And the way he watched her from across her office told her he felt the exact same way.

And if what she feared was true, if she were carrying a child inside her, he could never be hers. She and Kyo had been together more frequently and more recently than her and Kakashi's elevator meeting. The odds that this hypothetical child could be Kakashi's was low...She would be obligated to stay with Kyo, her decision already made before she had a change to decide for herself. The thought cut through any desire that she felt for Kakashi, bringing her abruptly and nauseatingly back to reality.

She cleared her throat and shuffled through a few loose pages on her desk, hoping he didn't see the tremble in her chin. "I really need to get back to this report. I'll have to turn it into investigation before the end of the day." Kakashi was on his feet before she finished her sentence and he put a hand on the doorknob.

"Don't work too hard. I'll..." He hesitated and pushed a hand through his hair, staring hard into Sakura's eyes. She felt her strength slipping, her body begging for him the way it used to. "I'll see you later."

She watched him slip out of her office and didn't take her eyes off the back of the door until they burned. It was true, she did have to finish her reports, though she had hoped to have a bit more time with him. But, she knew she had to make a stop at the drug store before heading home. If she couldn't bring herself to examine her belly properly, then she would just have to do it the old fashioned way.

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AN- Don't worry...The old Sakura is going to make an appearance real soon ;)

 


	7. Chapter Seven

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 _I paced around for hours on empty_  
I jumped at the slightest of sounds  
And I couldn't stand the person inside me  
I turned all the mirrors around

_._

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The apartment was deathly quiet and the silence rang loudly in Sakura's ears. She picked the box off the sink with shaking fingers and reread the instructions for the fiftieth time. She had taken the pregnancy test only ten seconds ago and had to wait for the next 3 to 5 minutes for the results to appear. She couldn't look at the plastic strip, didn't want to see those two pink lines appear. She turned her back to the sink and flipped the box over in her hands.

One line for negative.

Two lines for positive.

If it was positive, she may kick start the morning sickness early and throw up every bit of breakfast she had forced herself to eat that morning. She had waited for Kyo to finish his breakfast, had sat patiently on the couch as he dressed for work, reading a magazine as if she hadn't a care in the world. Secretly, her stomach was tied in so many knots she felt faint all over again. Even after Kyo had kissed her goodbye and announced he would be working all night on the plans for his research facility, she had sat still on the couch, counting the seconds tick by on the wall clock. It was an hour after he had left before she was able to peel herself off the couch and snatch the bright pink box from under the bed where she had stashed it the day before.

Her head ached and she pressed a hand to her forehead, closing her eyes to force herself not to look back at the sink. It would do no good to stare at it and draw the seconds out longer and longer. It already felt like it had been an eternity.

These three to five minutes gave her far too much time to consider her options for either way the test would go. She had laid awake in the early morning hours, going over the plans she had come up with. If it was positive and she was truly pregnant, she would go to Shizune in confidence and ask her for help in a paternity test. She didn't exactly know how she would approach Kakashi for his help, but asking Kyo for one was out of the question. And if it came to be Kakashi's...well, she actually hadn't got that far yet. There were options, ones she didn't think she could bring herself to consider...but they were there.

If it came to be Kyo's, she would of course do the right thing by her child and stay. She would become Kyo's wife and the mother to his child and she would walk through the streets, tagging a toddler along behind her every where she went. The mere thought made her feel nauseous and she had to take several deep breaths to keep herself from gagging. It wasn't like she didn't want children. She did...but it felt so wrong to bring a child into this mess. She couldn't give it the love and nurturing that it deserved and the slight chance that she might grow to resent it made her sick.

Sakura glanced down at the box in her hands and read the words once more. "One line for negative. Two for positive." She muttered to herself, staring hard at the word 'negative' typed so innocently on the back of the box. She closed her eyes and knew what she truly wanted. It had to be negative. It was the only option she could live with.

She refused to bring a child into this whirlwind of confusion and misery that she had gotten herself into. Taking a deep breath, she turned and faced the sink where the plastic strip sat patiently waiting by the faucet. Sakura peered down at the two boxes sitting side by side, and searched for the lines. But there were none. She checked the watch laying on the counter and frowned. It had been six minutes and yet, neither box had any lines. She brought the plastic closer to the light and squinted, thinking maybe the lines so faint she couldn't see it. But, there weren't any.

"What the hell?" She mumbled, turning the cardboard box over and reading through the instructions once more. It was all the same as it had been before but she read further down the line and frowned. 'If no lines appear, the test is invalid and should be discarded'.

 _Invalid_?

What did that even mean?

She snatched the plastic strip and shook it, hoping to activate whatever it was inside that produced the lines. It stayed white, and she could have sworn it was the universe screwing with her, forcing her to check for herself as it laughed. Sakura crumbled the strip in her hand and tossed it into the trash, burying it under several layers of tissue. She gripped the sink on either side and took several deep breaths to calm herself though she could feel the bones in her fingers trembling against the cold porcelain. ' _Okay_ ,' she thought, ' _I can do this_.'

She knew what to do, had done it for countless women before and she always hated the seconds before feeling that bundle of cells, not knowing whether the woman would be happy or destroyed. Now she knew how it felt to be on the other side and she hated it. How could she have been so stupid to let this happen? In the last month or so, she had been with Kyo several times, letting him do what he wanted to her while she played the part of a eager and wanting fiancé. He always finished inside her because she had always taken extra precaution to protect herself from pregnancy. But she knew she had been careless lately, waiting too long to remove his seed, not caring what would happen. Her time away from Kakashi the last few weeks she had been in a fog, floating from one place to another, indifferent to anything that came her way. Could her apathy have resulted in a pregnancy?

She looked at herself in the mirror and frowned as the memory of the last time she was with Kakashi flared hot in her mind. She had been careless then too, even after she had told herself how dangerous it was, had been so stupid to think it couldn't happen. It made her hate herself, hate the fact that she had let her guard down so much over all of this. It wasn't her and she hated it. She just wanted to feel like herself again.

Backing away from the sink, she glanced down at her stomach, pulling the material of her tank top up around her ribs. There was no bump, no roundness between her hip bones and she turned to the side, forcing her stomach out as far as it could go. She wrinkled her nose. It wasn't as cute as she thought it was on other women. On her, it made her seem almost alien, like it wasn't natural.

Closing her eyes, she laid both hands across her lower belly and took a deep breath, holding her chakra in the palm of her hands. Her mouth felt hot and her heart pounded loudly in her ears. It was now or never. She had to know the truth, whatever outcome came to be. It was better than being in the dark, lost and afraid.

She pushed the ball of chakra into her stomach, holding her breath as it passed into her uterus. But, there was nothing waiting for her, no bundle of cells, no foreign heart beat, and no child. Sakura sobbed in relief and put her hands out to catch herself on the sink. The cold porcelain was like a splash of water and she put her forehead to the mirror, half laughing, half crying in happiness. All of her fear and paranoia had been for nothing but she couldn't have been more over joyed.

She lifted her head from the mirror and watched a tear roll down her sunken cheeks until it dropped down her jaw and fell with a splash onto the sink. She studied the dark half moons under her eyes, wondering when her hair had lost so much of its shine, or when her eyes had become so flat. Pursing her lips, she stared into her own eyes and promised herself that this was ending. There would be no more wallowing in self pity, no more questions, no more starving herself of food and sleep. It was time to act and time to take her life back.

Sakura raced across the hallway, her feet feeling lighter than air, to the bedroom she and Kyo shared, pulling open her closet. She grabbed a pair of leggings and jacket before slipping her feet into her shoes. She knew what she had to do, and there would be no stopping her now.

The apartment didn't feel so hollow to her now, not as menacing and encroaching upon her as it had been the last few months. It was as if a heavy, blinding fog had lifted out of her mind and for once, she was thinking clearly. It felt good and for the first time in a very long time, she felt herself smile. Sakura hurried through the house, knowing she should leave a note for Kyo. He'd be out late, but she was sure she would be too.

She twisted the doorknob to his office but was stopped short. It was locked. Strange. He had never locked his office before. She brushed it off, knowing he was probably hiding his wedding vows, or something confidential before she turned to find a notepad in the kitchen. But even as she scribbled a note for him and stuck it on the fridge, she couldn't help the nagging feeling that there was something darker hiding behind that door.

Sakura stood in the hallway in front of his office, knowing she could very easily push the door open, snapping the hinges or crushing the lock with little effort. She could even say she fell into it. But, why was she even feeling like this? She had been in his office many times before, had sat in one of the leather chairs as he worked and had never felt anything sinister. This time was different, whether it was the locked door, or something else, Sakura couldn't be too sure. But, she couldn't shake the feeling that called to her to open to door and find out for herself.

A knock at the front door made her start and whirl around to face the living room. She crossed it in a hurry and put her eye to the peephole, breathing a sigh of relief at a familiar blonde head. She pulled the door open and smiled to Ino who whirled around and blinked in surprise.

"Oh. You going somewhere?" She asked, pointing at Sakura's clothes.

Glancing back at Kyo's office door, Sakura chewed her bottom lip before deciding she would face that after she got back. She hoped it wouldn't nag at the back of her mind. She turned back to Ino, snagged her keys off the table beside the door and gave a quick nod. "I am, but you can walk me out."

"Okay." She waited for Sakura to lock the door before clearing her throat and putting a hand out to stop her. "Actually, I just need to know...I didn't mean to overhear yesterday," Ino squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. "But, I heard Shizune ask if you were pregnant. I didn't know what to do, and Kakashi being there freaked me out and I left. I should have been there for you. I'm sorry."

Sakura blinked in surprise. She had completely forgotten that Ino and he had been in the hallway after her fainting spell and the color slowly drained from her face. Had he heard as well? If so, he hadn't let on to being suspicious when he came to talk to her in her office. She hadn't thought of the possibility that he could be worrying over the same thing. Pursing her lips, she took her best friend by the shoulders and ducked her head to catch Ino's gaze. "Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. I was freaked out myself."

"Was?" Her blue eyes brightened and she stood a bit straighter. Sakura couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah. I'm not pregnant."

Ino breathed a sigh of relief and threw her arms around Sakura's neck, squeezing her tight. "Thank god! I had already devised a plan to smuggle you out of the village for the next nine months."

Sakura chuckled and nodded toward the hallway, leading them both toward the stairs to avoid the closed doors to the elevator. She tried to avoid stepping into it if she could. It never failed to bring up the memory of her and Kakashi and how she had felt so disgusted with herself for loving how he felt inside her. Riding the elevator with Kyo was the worst, and she had to bite her tongue to keep from spilling everything to him. "Well, I'm glad you planned ahead. I couldn't really think beyond finding out if I was or not. It was the worst experience I've ever had and I don't want to ever go through with it again." She shuddered thinking about the seconds that her hands were spread across her stomach. It felt like it had been days, instead of a few minutes since she had been in the bathroom, tearing herself apart wit worry.

The hallway was a breath of fresh air in comparison. "Yeah, I didn't know what you'd do if it was Kakashi's." Ino descended a few steps and Sakura froze. Her hand hovering over the railing. She knew the blonde was smart as hell, but having her know everything now made her heart squeeze so tight in her chest, she found it difficult to breath.

She stared down at Ino's bright blue eyes, unable to keep her own from burning with the threat of tears. "I should have known you'd figure it out."

Ino smiled crookedly at her and cocked her head to the side, her hair spilling over her shoulder. "It was pretty obvious yesterday. He looked so lost, standing outside that room after you passed out. I have to admit though," she took a step up toward Sakura, "I was angry at first, that you didn't tell me or didn't trust me with it--"

"That's not why I didn't tell you." Sakura hung her head and drew in a quivering breath.

"I know. I thought about it and I guess, if I was in the same position, I would have kept it a secret too. I won't tell anyone." She reached up and wiped a tear away from Sakura's cheek with a reassuring smile. The seconds ticked by and Sakura couldn't find any words to express how grateful she was for her. If only she had confided in her from the beginning, she could have spared herself some real heart ache.

"Thank you." She said quietly, glancing down at her feet. "For being here for me and for not making me feel worse than I already do."

Ino scoffed and brushed her off, looping her arm around Sakura's elbow before pulling her down the stairs. "Stop feeling guilty. What's done is done. There's no point in dwelling on the past." Since when did her friends become so wise? First Naruto, and now Ino...did they mature while Sakura was stuck in her selfish world of lies and deceit? She was envious, and wished she had been able to grow with them. "What you need to focus on is what you're going to do now."

Sakura nodded at her words. She had made her decision the second she felt inside her empty belly, had known exactly what she had to do now. It would be hard, like ripping off a thousand band-aids all at once, but it needed to be done. "I know what I need to do. And I'm actually on my way to do it."

They turned the corner of the stairwell onto the second floor and Sakura took a deep breath. No matter how much it would hurt, she had to do this. And she didn't know how, but she knew she would be happier afterward. "Where are you going?" Ino asked, glancing to her out of the corner of her eyes.

"I have to go see Kakashi." She kept her voice quiet, just in case someone could hear their words echo through the stairs. No one used them, and nearly everyone coming to see Kyo took the elevator, but she didn't want to risk it. Not when she was so close to the end.

From beside her, Ino nodded slowly. "So, you're choosing Kakashi?"

"No," Sakura said, leading them down the rest of the steps. At the bottom, she turned back and smiled up at Ino. "I'm choosing myself." 

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	8. Chapter Eight

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 _I want to hold you close_  
Skin pressed against me tight  
Lie still, and close your eyes girl  
So lovely, it feels so right

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* * *

 

 

Sakura was surprised by how fast her pulse was racing as she made her way through the village streets. She knew where Kakashi lived, but had never been to his house, had never dreamed she would ever be inside it, alone with him. Sure, just the thought of it was something she fantasized about often, but making it a reality was something completely different. She had to remind herself several times as she walked that this was not a visit for pleasure.

She had to be strong this time, for herself. And she hoped she could be. Resisting him had proved impossible in the past, almost painful for her, but just being this close to seeing him, her body was begging for just a little taste of what she had once had. No matter how much she tried to forget it, she still longed for the heat only he could bring her and she didn't know if she would ever stop wanting him.

As she turned down the dusty street with his building at the end on the right, she felt her knees shake beneath her and she pressed a hand to her stomach to try to settle the butterflies that flared to life. She was thankful that there weren't many people out today to watch her slowly make her way down the lane, muttering little motivations to herself like she was a crazy person. The only person she could see was an elderly woman who was watering the flowers and ferns that hung from pots around the veranda of her house. She didn't even glance in Sakura's direction, though the kunoichi kept her eye on her as she passed.

The woman mumbled sweetly to the thick, lush leaves and early blooming flowers as she watered them. She patted one of the ferns and stroked the frond and Sakura felt a bit better about how crazy she had felt earlier. At least she wasn't sweet-talking plants and flowers.

Turning away from the woman, Sakura squared her shoulders and hurried on toward Kakashi's apartment building. It was an older complex and most of the tenants had moved out after the war. Sakura remembered him mentioning a year or so ago that he was looking for a new place, but had never gotten around to actually leaving, at least, according to his medical file that she had sneaked a peek at the day before.

The outside of the building was nondescript with wide windows that were mostly covered with blinds or curtains in the apartments. She stared up at them and wondered which one was his and if he was inside right now. Gulping down the mixture of fear, excitement and anticipation, she hurried up the three steps to the front doors and peered inside the foyer. There was a row of mailboxes to the left, a bulletin board above them, and a stairwell directly to the right. She could see the bare bulb on the first floor landing was flickering wildly and pulled away from the glass, pursing her lips.

It was such a stark contrast to the gold light fixtures, marble floors and shining doors that she saw every day in Kyo's apartment. The film on the glass made everything inside look dingy and stale. Something squeezed her heart and she hated herself for assuming the building was dirty. Was Kyo's snobbery rubbing off on her? It disgusted her to think of and she rolled her eyes at herself before wrenching the front doors open on shrieking hinges. She could hear a baby crying from somewhere upstairs and someone's television was on way too loud but it was warm and smelled a lot like the cleaner they used in the hospital. Inside it looked much different and actually felt cozy.

She could see that a lot of care had been put into the place at one time and the years had simply taken their toll. The wallpaper was peeling even though someone had tried to paint a neutral, sandy color over it and the light fixtures looked as if they had recently been polished. She touched the corner of the brass mailbox plates and turned to them after a few glances around. She skimmed over the names written on little strips of paper before she found 'Hatake' on the second to last mailbox. Her heart skipped a beat and she bit her lip. His apartment was number 4B and it seemed like his was the only one on that floor. He must have the top floor to himself...

She spun toward the stairs, her heart fluttering like a bird as the floorboards creaked up above her. Someone was making their way down. She panicked, fearing it would be someone she knew and terrified it was Kakashi. She wasn't ready to face him yet and the tight knot in her chest making it hard to catch a breath was clear evidence of that.

Sakura hurried out the double doors and crouched behind an overgrown bush beside the building, waiting for whoever it was to come out. Her breath held tight in her lungs as the glass doors swung open and a rather large man came shuffling out, mumbling angrily about a wife that refused to let him drink in the house. Definitely not Kakashi and definitely not someone she should be worried about. She almost laughed at herself until she realized she was not alone behind the bush.

Whirling around, Sakura leapt to her feet and stared down at the woman from the house next door. She had a wide rimmed sunhat on her gray head and a deep scowl across her wrinkled face that made Sakura squeak and take a step back, her shoulders hitting the brick of the apartment building.

"Why are you sneaking around my apartments?"

"Your apart--Oh! You're the landlord?" Sakura scratched her forehead and hoped she wasn't being too loud. The last thing she wanted was for Kakashi to hear the commotion and come out to see her hiding behind the bushes outside of his house. She would surely die of embarrassment and never accomplish what she had set out that morning to do. The woman poked a finger to Sakura, snapping her out of her moment of humiliation.

"I am. And I don't like nosy people sniffing around my tenants. What are you doing here?"

"I-I just came to see someone. He lives here." Sakura glanced up at the top floor where she had been so close to actually going inside Kakashi's apartment. She silently cursed the mumbling drunkard for scaring her away so quickly. The old woman shuffled closer to the kunoichi, giving her a doubtful glare.

"Oh yeah? Who?"

Sakura folded her arms over her chest. What business was it of hers who she came to see? She didn't have to answer to this woman. But, something told Sakura that she shouldn't press her luck and fight the woman. The last thing she needed was to be banned from the building. Glancing around to make sure there were no passer-bys to hear her, Sakura dropped her arms to her side. "Kakashi Hatake." She mumbled as quietly as she could.

The woman waved a hand to Sakura and stepped out from behind the bushes. "He left an hour or so ago. Looked busy. You should probably go home." Without another word, the woman began shuffling back to her house, leaving Sakura to stare after her in confusion. Was she telling the truth, or just trying to get her away from her tenants? Frowning, Sakura followed after her, surprised by how fast the little old woman was moving. It was clear the woman wasn't as frail as she made herself appear to be.

"He left? Do you know when he'll be back?" She knew it was a stupid question as soon as it left her mouth and she winced at the harsh laugh the landlord gave her.

"What do I look like, his mother?"

"I mean, did it look like he was just going for a stroll? Or.." Sakura trailed off as the woman kept shuffling on toward her house, making no effort to answer her questions. Shoulders slumping, Sakura stood in the dusty street, staring after the crotchety old lady in defeat.

Shit.

There'd be no telling when he would be back, if at all. A tiny bubble of panic rose in her throat, making it hard to breath as she feared the possibility that he had left the village. No. He would have told her yesterday if he had been planning to go away. Wouldn't he? Sakura bit her lower lip and glanced back at the apartment building, her eyes scanning the windows for any sign that he was there and that this woman was just being mean for no reason. Maybe she was senile and didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

Sakura heard the woman sigh from the top step of her porch and she whirled around to stare at her. "He'll probably be back by dark. He usually makes his way home around that time when he's on patrol duty." With that, the old landlord turned and made her way back into her house, snatching the watering can from the porch railing as she did so. Sakura couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her mouth and she turned back to the apartment building behind her. It was half past noon already. Waiting a few more hours to talk to him would be no big deal. Kyo had already told her he would be out late working so she wasn't worried about him coming home to find her gone.

Sakura lowered herself onto the curb outside the apartments and glanced down the street, thankful at least that it was a quiet day and she wouldn't be too disturbed as she waited. But, as the sky turned from bright blue to violet and the stars started appearing from behind the thin clouds, the tightness in her stomach became unbearable. Every little sound, no matter how small, made her lift her head toward the road, hopeful to see his familiar silhouette coming toward her.

There were no street lamps on this side of the road and the only light around her came from the flickering, half dead bulb inside the stairwell behind her. She had memorized the pattern of the blinks, though it blinked out completely whenever someone stomped down the stairs. Three flickers, out for two seconds, and then back on for several moments before repeating itself. She was watching the light flashing over the toes of her shoes when she heard a pair of voices from down the street and her heart quickened.

She snapped her head toward the Village wall, exactly where he would be coming from, and could see a tall figure in the shadows with someone a bit shorter at his side. Her stomach clenched and she feared the worst...he had a girlfriend or a date with him. What would she even do if there was another woman at his side? She didn't know, but the urge to vomit was increasing with every step the pair took in the shadows.

"...Yeah, right. There's no way that's even possible." The second figure was definitely male and his voice was instantly familiar. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief as she recognized it as Iruka. She stood and dusted the seat of her pants off as the pair made their way closer toward the circle of flickering light from inside the building. Kakashi must have seen her first. His steps slowed and he grew quiet, even as Iruka continued to speak.

Once they were only a few yards from her, Iruka stopped talking and stared between them, almost aware of the thick tension that appeared like a mist. "Hey." Sakura breathed, unable to look away from Kakashi. His hair was slick with sweat and glistened in the faint light behind her. He stared for a moment and she could have swore she saw a flicker of a smile beneath his mask. It made her heart flutter and all of her doubts about being able to resist him returned. This was going to be so much harder than she had ever imagined.

Kakashi turned to the man at his side. "Can I take a rain check on that drink?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Iruka said, his eyes never leaving Sakura's face. She was surprised to see him scowling at her and took a step back as if he had slapped her in the face. As Kakashi sighed, she realized with a twinge of guilt that he knew. Iruka knew all about them and the thought made the urge to vomit rise suddenly in the back of her throat. God, the way he looked at her it was like he thought she was some horrible monster and she wondered just what all Kakashi had told him.

She glanced up at him as he pushed a hand through his damp hair. "Yeah, I'm sure." Several seconds passed between the two of them and Sakura felt as if she had been punched in the gut. Repeatedly. Her fingers were shaking as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Iruka said nothing but glanced pointedly at her before turning to make his way back the way they had come. Kakashi watched him walk away for a moment with a sigh. He was apologetic as he looked at her but it did little to help the guilt that settled like a stone inside her.

She hugged her arms around her and kept her eyes down at the ground below her, unable to meet Kakashi's eye, ashamed that she had did this to him. He didn't deserve it and to know he had confided something like this in Iruka must mean he had been so hurt he had to tell him. She tried not to think of it, tried not to imagine him pouring his heart out and emptying all the contempt and hatred he had for her to Iruka. No wonder he had looked at her like that. He probably thought she was using Kakashi for fun.

"I'm sorry." He took a step toward her and she winced, cursing the thick lump that was forming in her throat. She shrugged him off and lifted her eyes to the sky, hoping to force the tears back where they came from.

"It's fine. I figure I'll have to get used to people looking at me like that." She said with a bitter laugh, knowing how self-loathing she sounded and couldn't find it in her to care at that moment. She had failed to think about the reaction people would have once the truth came out about it all. Kyo would have no reason to keep it to himself and as soon as his stuck up friend Kaiya heard, Sakura knew the woman would spread it around. All the women who had whispered about her when she and Kyo became a couple and then became engaged would be the same who would snicker behind her back in the weeks to come. They would laugh and say she was crazy for throwing it all away for nothing.

Ugh, she hated feeling sorry for herself and was sick of it. She had been feeling that way since they had shared that moment in the club on Ino's birthday and she was ready for it to end. Shaking her head, she nodded toward his building and hoped he didn't try to stop her. "Can we talk? In private?"

"Of course." He lead the way toward the double doors she had been sitting in front of for the past few hours and Sakura found herself holding her breath as she stepped inside the foyer once again. The light had settled and remained on for the most part, even as the two ascended the stairs. The baby from earlier had calmed and there was nothing but the sound of their footsteps as they made their way up to the fourth floor. "Do you mind if I shower first? I've been on patrol all day and I'm starting to smell." He smiled at her and Sakura couldn't help the flurry of butterflies inside her.

"Sure." She said quietly, watching him open the door to his apartment for her. He stood back for her to go in but she hesitated. Was this a good idea? It didn't feel like it anymore, not with the way she was already responding to him. Maybe she should have listened to Iruka...He seemed to know that them being alone together would only be bad for them. She looked up at Kakashi and watched his eyebrow lift a bit, waiting for her to make a move. Her feet moved on their own, carrying her over his doorstep and inside the dark apartment and she held her breath until he followed her.

She felt as if she were moving in slow motion and the realization that she was now alone, in his apartment, in his presence was making her body respond the same way it had in Kumagakure. Her fingers twitched, desperate to feel him in her hands and she licked her dry lips, turning to face him as he flicked the lights on. He dropped his key into a bowl on the table by the door and crossed the small space to the fridge pushed into the corner of the kitchen. A counter top ran the length of the wall with a small stove and microwave sitting on top. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and nodded toward the dark hallway. "I'll be right back." He disappeared and Sakura stood rooted to the spot, staring after him.

No lights came on but after a second, she could hear the sound of the shower running from the back bedroom. A part of her wanted to join him and the thought of feeling the warm water across his skin made her close her eyes and draw in a shuddering breath. It was almost impossible to resist but she forced herself to remain by the door. She was almost afraid of how good he would smell once he returned and she hoped she had the strength to keep her hands to herself when he did.

She busied herself with glancing around at his home. Everything was neat and tidy, if not outdated. The curtains looked second hand and she figured they had been left here by a previous tenant. Kakashi didn't seem like the type that would purposefully pick out floral curtains. She hid a smile behind her fingers as she crossed to the small book shelves that were pushed into the corner of the living room. Every spare space was filled, books shoved into any corner or crack and she could tell most were well worn and read. She brushed her fingers across the spines and imagined him sitting on his couch, reading everyone of them beneath the light of the floor lamp. It was so easy to put herself in the fantasy, laying on the other side of the sofa, their legs entangled as they read their books in silence.

Her heart clenched at the thought and she mourned the fact that it would probably never happen. She couldn't ask him to give her a relationship after all this. She would need time to breathe, time for herself and she couldn't ask him to wait for her. He deserved happiness, not the remnants of her mistakes and she didn't expect him to be the one to pick up the pieces for her.

From behind her, she could hear the floorboards in the hallway creak and she whirled around to see him leaning against the wall, watching her. His hair was still dripping and she couldn't help noticing the fabric of his shirt clinging tightly to his damp chest. It made her mouth water and her knees suddenly feel weak. She wanted nothing more than to cross the room and jump into his arms, but was having trouble doing anything aside from staring at him. His unmasked face still had an effect on her and she was glad she had the sofa behind her to catch her in case she couldn't keep herself standing. "I was thinking about making some tea. Do you want any?"

She could only nod, knowing if she allowed herself to talk, she would tell him to forget the tea and fuck her instead. The corner of his lips lifted into a small smirk before he turned toward his kitchen and Sakura was left fanning herself. She shed her jacket and draped it across the arm of the couch, wondering how she could have thought she was capable of being alone with him without wanting him so badly. Just being in her office with him yesterday, with a dozen nurses yard away, made her want to leap over her desk and jump him. She had to get this over with and soon or she wouldn't be able to resist him much longer.

She could hear him filling a kettle up with water and swallowed hard before crossing the room. He had his back to her at the sink and she took the brief moment to lean against the door frame and study him while he was unaware. She let her eyes take in the entire sight of him, drinking in the sight as if she were dying of thirst. The thin material of his shirt did little to hide the curve of muscles that stretched across his shoulders and she felt her mouth water the longer she stood staring. Her hands were itching to touch him, to feel the taut flesh across his back and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from making a sound.

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder at her, the corner of his lips still twisted in a small smirk. She wanted to kiss him more than she wanted anything else in that moment but, the sound of the water turning off jerked her from her thoughts. He crossed to the stove and twisted the knob. A tiny circle of flames flared to life and Sakura stared into the blue glow beneath the tea kettle. She never thought she could relate to a stove so much but he turned her on exactly the same way; instantly to the highest degree. She licked her lips and glanced up at him as he pushed a hand through his damp hair.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what you wanted to talk about..."

His words took her by surprise and she blinked up at him as he moved closer to her. The kitchen seemed suddenly small around them and she realized she could easily reach out to touch him now. "Why?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

He took a step closer to her and Sakura felt her backside press up against the counter top behind her. She was terrified by how badly she wanted him. It was greater than anytime before and if he came any closer, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself. He seemed to sense her need for space between them and he stopped himself an arms length away from her. He reached out and brushed a palm against her jaw, a sad smile lifting the corner of his lips. "You look like you want to say goodbye."

"I don't want to." She could barely find her voice now, her chin trembling from his nearness and she was losing the battle inside her to keep her distance from him. Her feet inched her closer but she was able to keep her hands at her sides, despite every fiber of her being screaming at her to reach out and touch him. They begged her for just one more time, one more kiss, one more touch. What was one more lie next to all the other things she had done in the past?

"But, you have to." He took a step back and she had to bite her tongue to keep from crying out and reaching for him. She opened her eyes to see him folding his arms over his chest and lean back against the counter opposite from her. Her heart ached at the space between them and she had to catch her breath. He was right. She had to do this, had to say goodbye to them, no matter how much it hurt.

Sakura stared down at her feet, the corner of her eyelids burning from tears that threatened to spill. She blinked them free and watched them splash against her chest before taking a deep breath. It was now or never...

"I'm breaking off my engagement." She could feel the heat from his gaze searing across her skin but she kept her eyes lowered on the tile at her feet. If she looked up at him, saw the burning in his eyes, she was afraid she would never be able to say the things she wanted. "I need some time to figure myself out. I feel like I've lost my way the past few months and I...I don't feel like myself anymore." But, that wasn't necessarily true...

She did feel like herself, but only with him. Her stomach twisted and her heart jumped into her throat at the realization. She thought back to that day it all started, how she had sat in her office, staring down at her engagement ring, confused as to what she was feeling. It was clear to her now. She hadn't been feeling anything. She had been coasting on what she thought she should be feeling. It wasn't until she had seen Kakashi in the streets, had instantly missed him and had taken her ring off to hide it from his gaze.

She had been spending these last few months thinking about how stupid she had been but, it was now clear. She hadn't been stupid. She had been drowning in a sea of apathy toward her life and future and Kakashi had been the one to pull her out of the crashing waves.

And now, Sakura looked up at him and felt her body simmer beneath his dark gaze. She didn't know how he could make her feel so alive with just his stare but, she loved it. He gripped the counter at his sides with white knuckles and she wondered if he was trying to keep himself from crossing the distance between them. It was alarming how badly she wanted him to snatch her up in his arms and do whatever he wanted to her. He pushed away from the counter behind him and closed the distance between them. His hands were in her hair, gripping a handful at the back of her neck and pulling her face up to his. "I'm too selfish to let you go." He murmured, his lips so close to hers she could already taste the sweetness on his breath. His words sunk into her soul and made her entire body buzz with electricity.

"I can't ask you to wait for me." Sakura felt a tear slip out of the corner of her eye and he wiped it away with his thumb as he glanced over her face with a small smile.

"You don't have to." He kissed her and she felt as if the world was coming undone around her, leaving only the two of them in existence. His lips moved over hers so hungrily that it made her dizzy and she had to grab onto him to keep herself steady. She felt his hands leave her hair and slide down her back and over the curve of her ass. Her feet left the floor and she held tight around his neck as he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Sakura lifted her arms above her head as Kakashi pulled her shirt up and tossed it to the ground. The cool air of his apartment made her nipples harden instantly, despite the warmth of his fingers across them. She let her head fall back as he kissed down her throat to her chest and took one of the sensitive buds in his mouth. His tongue sent a thousand sensations coursing through her body and she couldn't swallow the moan that sounded from her throat.

From the stove, the tea kettle began to whistle and Sakura snatched it off of the eye as Kakashi reached over and turned the heat off. He kept one arm beneath her ass as he carried her out of the kitchen and down the darkened hallway, his mouth searing its way back up her neck. Over his shoulder, Sakura watched the light of his apartment fade and disappear as he took her into his bedroom. They were bathed in the darkness and she could only think of the night they shared in Kumagakure. She had been so terrified and so ashamed that night. But now, she only felt relief.

Kakashi's arm slipped out from underneath her and she felt herself falling backwards. She gasped just as she bounced against his bed. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness but the lights from the village outside gave her enough to see him standing beside the bed. She sat back on her elbows and stared up at him, hungry for the pleasure only he could bring her. She watched as he peeled the shirt from his body, her mouth watering at the sight and she could feel the dampness growing between her legs.

Kakashi took one of her ankles in his hands and pulled her closer to the bed's edge. He curled his fingers around the waist of her leggings and slipped them down her thighs slowly, his fingertips burning a trail across her flesh. Sakura let her head fall back against his sheets as her legs were freed and she was left nearly naked before him. Her heart thundered loudly inside her as she felt him kneel in front of her, his fingers curling around her thighs, pulling them apart.

God, how many times had she dreamt about this? It had haunted her since they had returned to Konoha and no matter how many times she had tried to recreate it, it would never feel the same. She had feared she would never be able to have this, or him, ever again. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming this time and was relieved to find herself still in his bedroom, still on his bed, and with her legs on either side of his head.

Sakura gripped the sheet in her hands as Kakashi pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh, inching slowly up to her panties. Her breath hitched in her throat and she gasped as he ran a finger down the fabric, sending little tremors through her body. He groaned deep in his throat and Sakura nearly came just from the sound. She arched her back off the bed with a whimper, torn between the need to feel his mouth on her and loving the way he was teasing her. "I've missed this." He murmured against her and the warmth of his breath against her made her dizzy.

The feel of her panties being pulled to the side made her nearly cry out in joy but her voice was silenced by the press of his tongue against her lips. He parted them with his fingers and slid his tongue across her clit, and Sakura felt herself nearly come off the bed. She panted and wound her fingers through her hair, unable to keep herself still for him. He smiled against her before he slowly licked his way across her slit. Kakashi gripped her thighs, pulling them as far apart as they could go and held onto her, keeping her in his control.

Sakura was powerless against him, though she wasn't fighting it. This was exactly where she wanted to be. As he sucked on the sensitive nub, she felt the familiar heat pooling inside her and she nearly cried it felt so good. She reached down and raked her fingers through his hair, gripping a handful as he continued to push her closer to the edge. Her lips parted as she sucked in tiny gasps of air as her body wound tighter and tighter. Kakashi gripped her hips tightly as she came so hard she felt herself lift off the bed.

She sat back on her elbows and let her head fall back, her face flushed as wave after wave of pleasure rolled over her. Her legs trembled as he stood up and stared down at her as if he were a hungry wolf and she was a tiny, cornered rabbit. Kakashi leaned down and took her lips in his, kissing her deeply and though she could taste herself on his tongue, she found it to be rather arousing.

Sakura hooked an arm around his neck and pulled him down onto her. She could feel her body responding to the closeness of him and she blushed at the feeling of his hardness against her thigh. It had been far too long since she had felt him inside her and she was nearly begging for it. She wiggled out of her panties beneath him as he continued to kiss her breathless. Her fingers tugged quickly at the drawstring keeping his pants tight around his hips and once it was free, she dipped her hand beneath the material.

Kakashi moaned against her mouth as her fingers curled around his length and she used her free hand to tug his pants past his hips until he kicked them off. She was afraid she was being too pushy, but she needed him now, needed to be filled in a way only he could provide. He brushed her hair from her face and kissed across her jaw, his teeth grazing the skin just below her ear. "Sakura..." He whispered her name and she hesitated, feeling as though he wanted to say more. He didn't, and instead slid a hand under the small of her back, lifting her hips toward his.

Whatever he meant to say to her melted away and she felt her eyes roll back in her head as he slid slowly into her, filling her so completely she nearly cried. He pressed his forehead against her jaw and kept still inside her before pulling back. Sakura gasped as he thrust deep and achingly slow. He curled his fingers in hers and pushed her hands above her head, his rhythm growing faster. With each push inside her, Sakura felt as if she were on fire and the pain swirled through her with the pleasure, making her dizzy with desire. She could feel sweat bead up across her body wherever his skin was touching hers.

Kakashi sat up and slid his hands beneath her back, lifting her off the bed until she was sitting on his lap. He kissed across her shoulder as he guided her hips up and back down onto him, feeling deeper than he had before. She let her head fall back with a moan and soon she matched his movements, grinding her hips against his as he thrust up into her. Sakura gripped his shoulders as he gasped against her chest, his body trembling. She held him tightly as he came, smoothing his hair down the back of his head as he shuddered, his breath ragged and hot against her chest.

He looked up at her and even in the dim light from outside, Sakura could see what was written in his stare. She brushed his hair from his damp forehead and held her palm to his jaw, her heart fluttering wildly inside her chest. She pressed a kiss to his lips and sighed as his arms held her tight and for once, Sakura wondered if this could be her future.

 

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AN- Some good smut to tide you over...and to make up for the next few chapters where the shit hits the fan.

 


	9. Chapter Nine

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I've got to breath   
  
I can't keep going under   
  
.   
  
.   


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Sakura slipped her legs back into the pair of panties she had been wearing as she sat on the edge of Kakashi’s bed. He laid behind her, the sheets draped over his waist and though he had been inside her only half an hour ago, she still felt her face blush at the sight of his naked body. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled softly at him over her shoulder as she bent down to snatch her pants from the floor. But, where was her shirt? She couldn't even remember when he had taken it off of her. The only thing she could remember was him carrying her half naked down the hallway.

  
“Are you just going to lay there or are you going to help me find my clothes?”   
  
Kakashi smirked mischievously and he reached for her, looping an arm around her waist to pull her back to him. “I'm trying to figure out how to convince you to stay.” He whispered against her neck and Sakura shivered. She let him brush her hair away from her shoulder and didn't even protest when he kissed her jaw. It was tempting, but she had been putting off this talk with Kyo for far too long.   
  
It was time to end this.   
  
Sakura put a hand to his chest and sat up, smiling down at him. “You know I can't. Not tonight anyway.” She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, still feeling a bit shy even though he had seen her naked numerous times now. She watched from the side of the bed as he sat up, the sheets falling away from his lap. Warmth pooled inside her and she wished she had just a few extra minutes to admire him before he dressed. She bit her lip and watched as he grabbed the pants he had been wearing before. He pulled them up his hips but kept his shirt off as he crossed the room to her.   
  
Sakura’s heart raced and she let him take her face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. “Your shirt is in the kitchen.” He whispered, but didn't let her go just yet. He combed his fingers through her hair, down her neck and shoulders until they rest against her backside. Sighing, she put her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.   
  
Why did it have to be this hard? The thought of leaving him and going back to Kyo's apartment made her throat tighten and she felt her chin tremble. It was like every fiber of her being was begging her to stay in his arms and to screw the consequences for one night. But, there was just no way. She closed her eyes and tried to remember every detail about how he felt in her arms. She didn't know how long it would be until she felt this again.   
  
Kakashi kissed the top of her head and she let her arms drop to her side as she watched him turn to make his way into the hallway. She stayed where she was, not yet ready to leave, not ready to be away from him. She took in a deep, shaking breath and wiped her eyes before glancing around his bedroom. She closed her eyes and turned the light off as she followed him down the hallway. Her shirt hung from his fingers as he leaned a shoulder against the wall and she took it from him with a small smile. Though she was dressed once more, her body still trembled and she couldn't fight the goosebumps that covered her skin. “Will you be alright?” He asked quietly and she glanced up at him as she took her jacket from the back of the chair.   
  
“Yeah. I'm just going to sit him down and tell him I can't marry him. He's a reasonable man. I think he’ll be angry at first but he’ll understand.” She pulled her hair out from under the hood of her jacket and stood awkwardly in his living room as if they hadn't just been naked and having sex with one another. Although a small part of her did feel guilty for not waiting until after she had ended her relationship, she didn't regret it. She had missed it so much, had missed him and the way he made her feel. And though she truly didn't want to leave, she was ready to get her life back together. She wanted to be herself again.   
  
Kakashi stepped closer to her and pressed a palm to her cheek. “If you need me, don't hesitate to call me, okay? For anything.” He kissed her forehead and Sakura cursed her eyes for burning with fresh tears. “I'll be here. Waiting.”   
  
Sakura nodded and knew if she didn't leave now, she never would. She stepped around him and hurried out into the hallway, hoping he meant what he said. There was no way to tell how long it would take before she was ready to be with him again, and though she couldn't  ask him to wait for her to be ready, she hoped he would still be here when she was. It was a light at the end of a dark tunnel but she still had a long way to go.   
  
She put her hood over her head and looked both ways as she stepped outside into the night. The streets were empty and she breathed a sigh of relief, knowing it wouldn't be good for anyone to see her, even though she wouldn't be with Kyo for much longer. She wanted to make this as painless as possible for him. He had only ever wanted what was best for her. How cruel would she be to make him the village laughing stock, being lied to by a cheating fiancé. No, she wouldn't do that to him.

From this side of town, she could see the top of the Hokage monument and Kyo's towering building in the distance. The sight of the darkened windows of his apartment made her stomach twist nervously and she bit her lip. She hadn't expected to be this nervous about speaking to him. He never seemed to care too much about their relationship, only interested in the intimacy and planning out the lives of their children. It had always been more about starting a family, being husband and wife than being in love. Maybe he didn't even want to get married.

  
She scoffed to herself and set off down the streets toward home, even though it felt as if she had just left her true home. Her heart still ached to be close to Kakashi, to be back in his arms, safe and warm. It wouldn't be long before she was back, she reassured herself. She had waited this long. A few weeks or month would be nothing compared to what she had endured for him.   
  
A slow drizzle had started to fall by the time she made her way back to the wealthier part of town. The buildings all looked new, were flawlessly designed with perfectly manicured lawns with no flickering bulbs or chipped paint. She had once pictured herself a living like this, with Kyo, and their wealth like people on a page of a magazine. It all seemed so meaningless in the face of what she knew she would have instead soon. Sakura hurried up the front steps to where the doorman held the front door open for her. “Good evening, Miss.” She smiled in thanks, still unable to remember the man’s name. It's not like it mattered anymore anyway. After tonight, there would be no need for her to be in this building or on this side of town.   


She passed through the lobby, with the vaulted ceiling and chandelier that sparkled in the bright lights. The gold doors of the elevator were opened like outstretched arms, inviting someone to step inside and press a button. Sakura avoided it and only let herself glance over at the posh interior, her face growing hot at the memory of Kakashi pushing her against the side of it. Before she turned toward the stairs, a flash of reflected light caught her eye and she froze, her heart thumping wildly. She turned back around and crossed the thick, plush carpet, her steps slowing as she stepped up to the elevator doors, her toes refusing to cross over the line in the floor. The lobby shifted and spun and she felt the color slowly drain from her face at the sight of the small security camera almost completely hidden in the back corner.  
  
Her mouth felt suddenly dry and hot and the sick feeling in her stomach made her gag. She clamped a hand to her mouth. How long had there been cameras in the elevators? She put a hand to the wall to steady herself as she made her way back to the door. The guard outside noticed her staggering toward him and opened the glass double doors, a look of concern on his face. “Miss?”   
  
“Do you know how long the security cameras have been in the building?”   
  
The man scratched at his forehead and shrugged. “Two, maybe three years? Probably since Mr. Masashi bought the building. Are you alright?” He reached for her but she nodded and swallowed the bile that threatened to come up from her stomach, stepping away from his hands.   
  
  
“Is there anywhere I can see what's on them? Any security footage?”   
  
“No ma’am. Mr. Masashi takes care of the security footage.” His voice sounded a mile away and she spun back toward the stairs, eyeing the elevator that sat wide open, as if it were laughing and showing her exactly how badly she had fucked up. Sakura racked her brain as ran up the steps two at a time, trying to think of anywhere that he could watch the footage. _His office_. It had been locked earlier that day and she had known that something was wrong. She ignored her instincts, had brushed it off like she was being silly.

 

She held onto the walls as she ran, praying the entire way up to the fifth floor that Kyo wouldn't be home yet. His words echoed through her head. “ _I'll be at the hospital late tonight. Don't stay up for me.”_   
  
“Please, don't be home.” She muttered, her keys trembling in her fingers so hard they slipped from her grip and hit the tile at her feet. Sakura cursed and snatched them before unlocking her front door and bursting inside.   
  
The entire apartment was still dark except for a faint blue light coming from the crack under his office door. Sakura didn't hesitate, didn't even bother shutting the front door behind her before she crossed the space and stood in front of his office. Her heart pounded in her ears and she could feel the tips of her fingers tingling as her chakra swirled through them. She knew that she should think rationally, that this might not even be a big deal. Did Kyo even have time to watch every single tape of security footage from the building? And if he had seen her and Kakashi together...would he have even kept quiet about it? There was a damn good chance he didn't even know still. But she couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of her gut. She had been ignoring it for months now...about Shun, about Kakashi, and about Kyo. She was tired of second guessing herself.

 

With her lips pursed tight, she kicked the heel of her foot into the door, inches from the doorknob and watched it splinter as it swung back on the hinges. She had only been in his office a few times before, but had never truly needed a reason to go into it. He was always working on the research facility plans or talking on the phone and she knew he cared deeply about his work. Standing in the doorway now, nothing stood out to her as being _wrong_ but she couldn't shake the feeling that _something was_ and she refused to ignore her instincts this time.

  
The back wall had an L shaped desk pushed up against it where the computer sat, it’s screen glowing in the dark room. She ran to it and sat down in the swivel chair, her fingers shaking violently as she pressed a button on the keyboard. The screen flashed, asking for a password and she bit her lip. She typed in Kyo’s birth date, her birth date, her name, and anything she could possibly think of. Each time, the computer would beep and deny her entry. _Shit, shit, shit_ . She had to get access before he came back home.   
  
She had to know if he knew about her and Kakashi and if he did, why had he not said anything? Why hadn't he screamed at her and demanded an explanation? She turned to the desk and ripped open each drawer, searching for anything that might have his password. But there was nothing aside from program disks, notebooks, and hospital paperwork. She tried the drawer on the far left and narrowed her eyes on it as it stayed stuck still. It was locked. As if a lock could really keep anyone out. It broke easily as she ripped it open, and she stared down at a file drawer full of folders, each with different names and locations of hidden villages on the tabs. She shook her head, telling herself she'd come back to that after finding his password.   
  
Her fingers danced over the tabs until she found one with a black X written over the tab. She pulled it out and stared at the two words on the front of the folder: _Project Renaissance._   
  
Raising an eyebrow, she spun back to the computer and typed in Renaissance. There was no offending ‘beep’ from the computer, no error message and instead sounds of the machine coming to life echoed through the room. She felt her heart pound hard against her chest and she glanced worriedly at the shattered door of his office, wondering how she would explain it to him if this turned out to be nothing. She didn't really care how upset he would be, though. She just needed to know the truth.

  
The computer screen came into focus and she glanced through the numerous icons and program names. None sounded at all like security footage. She felt herself calm down as she went over and over each possible program but most had to do with spreadsheets and electronic medical records. She sighed and felt her shoulders relax seconds before the mouse hovered over a file folder labeled _‘Sakura’_ ...   
  
Wait...Why would he have a file for her?   
  
Her mouth felt dry as a desert as she double clicked it and waited for the files to load. Thousands of picture files filled the screen and her eyes went wide at the sight of it all. Each had a date and time and she felt a sick, heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach as she clicked the first file. It was a picture of her, a still frame taken from a security camera but not in the elevator. She was standing in the hallway of the hospital, talking to one of the physicians as she pointed to a chart. Sakura put a hand to her mouth as she clicked the next one. It was the same thing, but she was in the cafeteria now. And the next was her outside the hospital chatting with Ino.   
  
Each file was a different picture of her taken from a security camera around the village. The hospital, the grocery store, the gates...he could see her everywhere. The pictures flashed rapidly on the screen as she opened each one of them and her horror came crashing down around her as she found exactly what she had been terrified of finding.   
  
She stared down at her own face on the screen, eyes closed and lips parted as Kakashi held her tight against the wall of the elevator. The next hundred pictures were the same thing, her and Kakashi over and over and over again. He had saved hundreds of them in this tiny, disgusting icon dedicated to her. She wanted to push the computer away, wanted to throw it against the wall and destroy it. He had been spying on her all this time? He knew everything and he still stayed with her?   
  
She continued scrolling until the very end and found a file that wasn't a still frame from a security camera. It was a document with the dates written out from the first day they had met to yesterday. It had everything she had eaten, had detailed notes on which way she took to work and where she went afterward. It even had information on Ino, her parents, Tsunade and what all she had taught Sakura from her training. “What the fuck?” She whispered to herself, unable to even grasp what was happening right now. Pain crept up the back of her head and sat heavy on her forehead as she read through each detail of her life for the past several months. He knew _so_ much about her, things no one should know.

 

There was a date she knew all too well near the bottom of the page...the date she had left Konoha with Kakashi on their mission. She had been so oblivious, so naive to what was happening right under her nose, by a man she trusted. He knew everything, from the antidote compound she had created in Kumagakure, how close she was getting to Kakashi, and what had happened to the village elders. These were things she had only told Tsunade in her reports. Had he read them? No...how would he have known about her growing close to Kakashi? Had he been spying on her? The only other person she ever told about the antidote had been Shun...

 

  
She glanced down to the folder sitting on the desk beside her; Project Renaissance. Her hands shook hard as she reached for it, not sure she could even handle what was inside. She opened it with a deep, shuddering breath and stared down at the blueprints to the research facility, but in the bottom corner, ‘Suna’ was written and a projected end date to the plan. Two years from now.

 

Behind these plans was a smaller folder with a name written across it that made her stomach twist and turn. _Shun Akagi_. She peered inside the front flap and her mouth hung open at the sight of his extensive profile. There was so much to look at that it was overwhelming. She felt dizzy and nauseous and tried to keep the bile from coming up. Behind the pages of his profile was a picture of Kyo shaking a familiar man’s hand, congratulating him with an award. It was the same Shun who had attacked the elders in Kuma, the same man who had tried to kill her...Kyo had been his mentor.

 

Something cold and creeping made its way down Sakura's spine as she pieces this horror puzzle together. She tried to find any other evidence of their involvement together, knowing she would need something solid if she took this to the Hokage. If he had anything to do with the poisonings in Kuma, Kyo would need to be questioned and possibly arrested. She thought quickly to the two shinobi who had been attacked recently and prayed there was no connection. She didn't know what she would do if she found out that this had been happening right under her nose.

 

She flipped through the rest of the pages fighting the urge to throw up, but they were mostly detailed descriptions of building types and different medicines and vaccinations that were being researched. The last few pages were plans of a new drug in the form of a vaccine intended for any ninja that took missions outside of the hidden villages. “Shinobi will be administered two doses of Hyazine, with a follow up injection every two years. Any who refuse will be labeled a missing nin and…put to death.” Sakura stared at the words in shock.  
  
She scrambled through the pages to where she had seen the word ‘Hyazine’ and snatched it from the middle of the folder. It was a synthetic compound designed to mimic the effects of a plant called the Devil’s Breath and was prohibited from use fifty years ago. Kyo’s research had found a way to produce it synthetically. It was a mind control drug.   
  
Sakura shoved all of the papers into the folder and pushed the chair away from the desk. She had to get to Tsunade, immediately. Before she could turn toward the door, the bell above the elevator dinged and she heard the doors open onto their floor, the color draining from her face. Kyo was home. _Fuck_ .   
  
She stood where she was, unafraid of what he would find when he came in. Every nerve in her body was buzzing and she had to steady her breathing. She pressed the evidence folder to her chest and vowed not to let him have it. She’d kill him before she gave it up. The sound of his footsteps slowed as he reached the front door and she heard him sigh disappointedly. “Oh, Sakura.” Kyo's clucked his tongue as he rounded the broken door frame to his office, his polished shoes kicking through the chips of wood that were sprinkled across the hardwood.   
  
In the shadows, he seemed much more menacing than she had ever seen him before. His hair was no longer neat and perfectly in place and he looked up at her with a deranged grin across his mouth. Sakura felt the urge to knock the smile right off of his face. She cracked her knuckles, ready for a fight. “I know you think I'm upset with you for your little rendezvous with that clown in the elevator, but I'm not. You're forgiven.” His smile stretched eerily across his face and Sakura took a step back, her heels hitting the bookshelf that ran along the wall behind her.   
  
“I don't need to be forgiven by you, Kyo. Whatever we had is definitely over and you're going to be locked away for a very long time.” Her voice was quiet but strong and she felt her chakra coursing through her, ready to fight this piece of shit. It had been a while since she had someone disgusting to punch, and she was looking forward to sending his head through the concrete.   
  
But, Kyo simply shook his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You have no idea what you're doing, Sakura. I know you think you're doing what's right for the village, but you're only holding onto ancient ideals that have no place in modern society. You'll see soon, though.” He turned to the left and made his way to a shelf of expensive liquor bottles neatly displayed and Sakura positioned herself defensively.   
  
“Don't you fucking move.” She commanded.  
  
Kyo shook his head in shame but still plucked a bottle from the shelf, glancing at her from over his shoulder. He poured himself a glass of Brandy, as if they were having just a simple chat about the weather. It made Sakura feel more on edge and she found her fingers shaking against the folder she was gripping tightly. “I always hated your profanity.” Kyo glanced at her before pressing a hand into a section of the wall that popped out, revealing a secret compartment. “But, I'll put a stop to that soon enough.” Sakura ignored his words and watched him like a hawk as he snatched a small vial from the hole in the wall before pulling a cloth out behind it. He downed the glass of Brandy and tossed it to the floor where it shattered into thick shards. He glared across the room to her as he slipped the cloth over his face and tied it tight behind his head. _Shit_. He definitely had poison.

  
He moved faster than she was expecting and she rolled along the wall as he tried to grab her by the throat, her back slamming into the shelf of awards Kyo had won through the years. The plank tumbled to the ground and she managed to roll across the floor toward the door. Despite how badly she wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of him, she knew the file in her arms was more important. Tsunade had to see what she had found and if Kyo got between her and revealing the truth...well, then she would kick his teeth down his throat faster than he could blink.  
  
Before she could get to the hallway, his hand was on the back of her neck, fingers twisting in her hair as he pulled her back into the office. She swept her leg along the floor and knocked him on his ass, his hands never losing his grip on her hair and she tumbled down with him.  
  
She hissed in pain but pulled her arm back far enough to send it pounding into his skull just as his hand snatched the folder she was desperately trying to protect. He grinned up at her, his eyes deranged and wild and out of the corner of her eye, she watched him press a button on the side of the capsule in his hands. White powder exploded into the air and she held her breath as she fell back and tried to crawl away. It was no use. It clung to the inside her mouth, her nose and eyes like glue and she sputtered, kicking her heel toward where he had been but only managing to send a row of books through the wall into the next room.   
  
As he rose to his feet before her, Kyo’s laugh echoed through her ears and she crawled toward the door, her head swimming as her muscles twitched and gave in to the poison she had breathed in. She hit the floor hard, her throat tightening as she tried to cough or suck in clean air. It was no use. She fell right into his trap. Her chakra faded to nothing and she collapsed in a heap, as if she were a puppet and he had cut her strings. She could feel his boot press against her arm as he nudged her. The pressure of his shoe, the sound of his snickering was all still there. But she could do nothing but watch as he knelt down and brushed her hair from her face.  
  
She screamed at him though her voice remained silent, her sobs heard by no one except herself. “Welcome to the new world, Sakura.”  
  
  
  
  
  
AN- well, Kyo's a bit more evil than we previously thought.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN- Trigger warning for violence and slight torture. This chapter can be skipped if you're uncomfortable reading scenes like this. It's not terrible, but I want to warn you before you read. Thank you.

 

_So lay down, the threat is real,_   
_When his sight goes red again._

.

.

.

  
  


* * *

 

Darkness. It surrounded her, seeped in through her eyelids, into her ears as she slowly came into consciousness. The muscles in her shoulders and across her ribs screamed in pain as she tried to gasp for air. For a moment, she thought she was dead but, death would have been far better than what she was feeling now. The side of her head throbbed. She could feel a warm, trickle of blood snaking its way down her temple and she tried to piece together what had happened. Memories of waking up on the side of that mountain in Kumagakura swirled through her head.

 

Had the past two months been the result of an unconscious dream? Was she still back in that shack, chained to the wall as Shun’s prisoner? Panic rose inside her like a flood and she desperately tried to move her body. It was useless.

 

Her arms hung limp at her sides, her legs trembling with each struggle to move. The most she could accomplish was to roll her head side to side. As she did, she realized there was a thick, black hood over her face and blocking any light from seeping through. She could feel sweat gathering across her brow as her warm breath was blocked by the fabric over her face. 

 

“Sir.” A muffled voice in front of her said and she flinched, unaware that she wasn’t alone. “She’s waking up.”

 

The voice sounded far away, echoing around her along with sharp taps on the floor. Footsteps. The hood lifted away from her face and Sakura squeezed her eyes shut as bright, fluorescent lights nearly blinded her from above. She blinked a few times, the inside of a strange room slowly coming into focus. There was a long, metal table to her right. Various beakers and vials sat on its surface next to a microscope and several stacks of filing charts. They looked just like the ones she saw nearly every day at the hospital. 

 

Turning to the left, Kyo’s face came into focus and she wanted to scream at him, spit in his face, do anything...but she was still paralyzed and could only stare with what she hoped was malice. The tips of her fingers and toes tingled and she struggled to move them. It was all so familiar...exactly how she had felt coming to after Shun had injected her with his poison. So, it was true. He had worked under Kyo. A wave of nausea rolled through her stomach and she groaned, forcing herself to swallow it down. The last thing she would do was show any sign of weakness around him.

 

“The sickness will fade soon.” Kyo said as he cupped her cheek tenderly in his palm. She wanted to bite his fingers off. “In the meantime, we should really have a chat, Sakura.” He snapped his fingers and the other person in the room, who had spoken first, quickly slid a chair close to Sakura’s knees. She looked up and squinted from the light but she recognized the man’s face.

 

It was the shinobi, the first one who had been brought into the hospital with mysterious symptoms. His mumbling and wide, terrified eyes played in her head like a film but he had changed now. He was wearing an all black uniform, definitely not from Konoha, with a sword slung across his back. Why was he working for Kyo? Had he been the one to steal this poor shinobi from his hospital bed?

 

She struggled in her chair and hissed in pain from the rope digging into her wrists and ankles. Breaking free from them should have been simple for her but, it was as if she had nothing left of her Chakra. No...that wasn’t right...she could feel it still there. But, something was blocking her from tapping into it. _Fuck!_ She screamed inside her mind, knowing the last thing she needed to do was panic. Her shoulders shook hard as she tried to catch her breath and calm herself down.

 

“I know you’re panicking a bit. I can see it in your eyes. You’ve always been so easy to read...you wear what you’re thinking on your face, did you know that?” He smiled softly and crossed his legs as he sat in front of her. The shinobi behind him turned to the wall of computer screens and tapped quickly across a keyboard.

 

Sakura glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before turning her attention back to her former fiance smiling at her. He seemed so normal, so...calm, as if he hadn’t poisoned her, as if he wasn’t plotting to bring ruin to Konoha. “That file that you had tried to run away with, I’m guessing you looked inside it.” He didn’t wait for her to answer. She couldn’t have if she had even wanted to. “It must have been quite a surprise to see...My plans for the future of this world are a bit complex and won’t be understood or accepted by some.” 

 

Behind him, the shinobi leaned down and whispered something to Kyo and he gave a small, quick nod before turning back to Sakura. “But, I assure you...I only want to protect the people who cannot protect themselves.”

 

Sakura seethed and writhed against the ropes, her pathetic attempts accomplishing nothing but hurting her more. She swallowed and tried to speak. “ _We...protect._ ” She barely got the words out before Kyo was throwing his head back, laughing bitterly at her. He stood from the chair and pushed it gently under the long table to her right before clasping his hands behind his back. 

 

“I pity you, really. To have been raised in such an environment that sends children to war. I feel sorry for you. You were forced into the same institution that breeds the kind of monsters you’re forced to fight.” Kyo circled behind her. At the touch of his fingers brushing her hair from her neck, Sakura flinched and cursed to herself. It was the first time she truly felt afraid of him. He had always seemed so weak compared to her. She had been so naive to assume he was a normal man with passion for helping people. 

 

“But, I want you to know” He leaned down and pulled her hair back from her ear, his lips brushing against her lobe. “You’re the key to Konoha’s Renaissance.” Sakura was strong enough now to jerk her head away from his mouth, but he paid no mind. She watched him cross the room to where the shinobi was standing beside a wall of monitors, all depicting various places across the village and around the perimeter wall. He tapped on the keyboard as he glanced to the shinobi standing as still as a statue. “You recognize him, don’t you? You should, anyway. He had a shaky start but has acclimated to the program well...as many others will soon do.” Kyo stood as he tapped the ‘enter’ key and stepped back, beaming with a devious pride.

 

Sakura watched each screen switch from the scenes they had shown before. One by one, they went to static before quickly showing places that were incredibly familiar to her. She could see her childhood home in the top right corner, Ino’s apartment building, the hallway leading to her door, each screen a different person Sakura cared about. The last one made her gasp, all color draining from her face to see the outside of Kakashi’s apartment. Kyo glanced back at her, the smile stretching across his mouth making her sick to her stomach. 

 

“I’ll fucking kill you.” She managed to spit through clenched teeth.

 

“There’s that foul mouth again,” Kyo turned to the shinobi in the corner, snapping his fingers in an unspoken command. He quickly crossed the room, disappearing behind a door that Sakura couldn’t see. Distracted by his exit, she didn’t see the man in front of her until his hands were already around her neck. He jerked her head back, the lights above them nearly blinding her. “Another word and I’ll put you under for another few hours.” He released his grip on her hair just as the door creaked back open behind her.

 

Through a curtain of pink, dirty hair, she could see the soldier return with two more people, more experiments of Kyo’s she was sure. Was he trying to win her over by showing her how smart he was, how easily he had outwitted her? But, as she looked up, she didn’t see two random shinobis standing before her. Her eyes went wide and her heart pounded at the sight of her parents, staring straight ahead as if they didn’t recognize her at all. “What are you doing to them?” She cried, struggling with all of her might against the ropes on her wrist. She could feel the material popping loose, a taste of freedom so sweet on her tongue. 

 

Kyo growled and snatched a syringe off the table beside the microscopes. He kicked her chair, sending her falling until the floor connected with her back and the breath was knocked from her lungs. “If you don’t behave, Sakura, I’ll be forced to paralyze you again. And I’ll make you watch as your parents kill each other while you’re powerless to stop them. Do you understand?” His words cut her deeper than any knife and she nodded as a tear rolled down her temples. She stopped struggling and let him lift her back up from the floor.

 

Her parents stood where they had been before, staring above her head as if she were just another object in the room. The pain in her heart was so intense she was afraid she would pass out. She sucked in deep, gasps of air but the room still spun around her. Kyo snapped his fingers in her face and she flinched away, her shoulders quivering from her sobs. “I didn’t want to have to do this, Sakura. I wanted to give you a wedding, ease you into this slowly...But, you just had to go sniffing where you didn’t belong. I don’t care about you and that moron, Hatake. He could have been your personal pet after everything came together but you will not ruin this future. So, I had to resort to drastic measures to ensure your loyalty.” Kyo crossed his arms to his chest and took a step back, leaning against the metal table.

 

He turned to Sakura’s parents and she quickly blinked the tears away, fear gripping her so tightly she didn’t think she would be able to breathe. “Kizashi.” Her father turned slowly toward Kyo and Sakura could only watch in horror. “Slit your wife’s throat.”

 

“NO!” 

 

Sakura struggled against her restraints but was picked up quickly by Kyo’s guard. He held her close to him, arms nearly crushing her as she watched her father pull a kunai from his pocket and reach over, pressing the blade against his wife’s throat. She felt faint...she couldn’t watch this.

 

“Wait!” Kyo commanded. 

 

The air in the room was intense and hot and stuck to Sakura’s sweating face as she felt her arms go limp in the shinobi’s grip. She blinked through her tears and hair, staring wide eyed at the passive faces of her parents. A drop of blood was slipping down her mother’s neck but the kunai was unmoving. Kyo turned to look at Sakura, a look of pride stretching across his mouth as he smiled twistedly at her. “Mebuki, put a knife through your daughter’s heart.” 

 

Sakura watched her mother snatch the kunai from her throat and twirl it in her fingers. She stepped forward until she was looking right into Sakura’s eyes, though there was nothing resembling her mother in them. The point of the kunai glittered in the light as Mebuki drew her arm back over her head. “No, I’ve changed my mind. Drop the kunai.” The weapon clattered to the ground so loud it hurt Sakura’s ears.

 

The arms around her released her and she collapsed to the floor at her mother’s feet in a heap. She had no strength, nothing left inside her but defeat. Sakura watched her mother’s shoes retreat before squeezing her eyes shut tight. She would rather take a thousand beatings than ever experience something like that again. Every muscle in her body screamed as she pushed herself up to a sitting position just as Kyo knelt down beside her. He took her face in her hands, forcing her to look up at him.

 

“What I want of you, is simple. You will be my wife, my voice of reason to Konoha’s more resistant leaders. You will tell them that you approve, that this is the future you want for your children...and if you don’t, I will make every one you love slit their throats in front of you, starting with your parents and ending with that  _ fucking _ fool, Hatake. Do you hear me, Sakura.” 

 

She could only nod, sealing her fate with no other choice to have. 

* * *

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

* * *

  
_I'm losing sight of our reality_   
_Satellites singing serenity_   
_Send out a signal, please remember me_   
_Send out a signal, come set me free_

* * *

  
.  
.  
.  
.

  
Kakashi stared down at the newspaper in his hands, his grip so tight, his fingers nearly ripped right through the announcements section. All around him, the village was alive for the Sunday markets with families making their way to the different shops, oblivious to the torment tearing him apart inside. Families walked by, happily holding hands, their smiling faces closing in around him and he felt as if he were being suffocated. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. His surroundings faded into nothing and all he could see was Sakura’s face in her wedding announcement, sitting beside that jackass who didn’t deserve her. He could only hear the sound of his own breath in his ears as her face blurred on the page before him.

He didn’t know what had happened. Last week she had been in his house, in his bed, telling him that she was ending her engagement and now this...Now, the wedding was happening after all? He didn’t want to look but his morbid curiosity made him read the date in the small paragraph detailing the wedding. Three days...She was going to be out of his life in such a short time and there was absolutely nothing he could do. Her choice was clearly made.

Did he actually think they would be together in the end? Was there even a future for them when they came together through lies, secrecy and hurt?

He crushed the newspaper in his hands and tossed it into a nearby trashcan, torn between the need to scream or beat something and the defeat he felt weighing him down. He swallowed hard and turned away from the busy marketplace, not knowing where he was even going. He couldn’t go home. His sheets still smelled of her and he couldn’t bring himself to wash her out of them. Not yet.

Kakashi turned, his stomach clenching tightly as he looked up toward the towering building he had only stepped into on one occasion. He wondered if she were there now, picking out flower arrangements and seating charts. What would she do if he went there, demanded to see her and told her that he loved her. He should have done it a long time ago. He had missed his chance...she wasn’t his and never was aside from the brief moments they had shared together, no matter how much he wanted her to be. He had stood by and let her slip away and there was no one to blame but himself. No, he wouldn’t storm into her life, and disrupt her happiness. He loved her too much to do that to her. Instead, he turned and headed toward the Academy, to the Hokage’s office.

In three days, Sakura would be married to someone who didn’t fit her, didn’t deserve her, who wasn’t him and he wasn’t going to be here when that happened.

* * *

 

Everything hurt. From the cold tile floor at her back to the sound of the water dripping from the bathtub faucet, it all pounded in her head and through her muscles like blows from a hammer. She stared up at the ceiling as she lay on the bathroom floor, her head resting against the plush, white rug in front of the sink. It had been four days that she had been a prisoner of Kyo’s. Four days of not knowing whether her parents were alive, if anyone was looking for her, or if anyone even cared.

Kyo had made her hand write letters to Shizune and Tsunade, requesting several weeks off for her wedding and honeymoon that would follow. He had stood over her shoulder as she wrote every word as flawlessly as she could. Any tremor of her hand, any sign that she wasn’t being genuine, he would force her to do it all over again. They would never know, no matter how much she was silently begging every stroke of the pen to tell them where she was. With her parents as much as a prisoner as she was, he wasn’t too worried anyone would be suspicious.

Sakura had spent the first few days hoping and praying that Ino knew better...and was safe. Surely, their last conversation would be a clue to look for her, that there was no way she was just going to change her mind and marry Kyo anyway.

But, the hours ticked by and no one came. No one suspected anything. Why should they? Kyo had hidden his plans and true self well. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, playing the part of the concerned, compassionate doctor who everyone in the village loved and looked up to. He had slipped in and no one knew what he truly was except for Sakura.

There was no one coming to rescue her...Not Ino, not Tsunade, not Naruto and not Kakashi. God, it killed her to think of him and she had struggled to take a deep breath, tears prickling the corners of her eyes. The light fixture above her blurred and she dug her palms into her eyes, wishing she could get the image of him out of her head. She couldn’t forget the way he had looked at her as she left his apartment...as if he would never see her again. Why hadn’t she stayed?

Angrily, Sakura pounded her fists into the perfectly pristine tile floor, longing for the crack of the marble but she was too weak. Whatever poison Kyo had blown into her face had rendered her completely useless and pathetic. She could feel her chakra, warm and flowing like sunlight, hidden behind an impenetrable wall that she couldn’t get through despite spending hours desperately trying to pick her way through. She was twelve years old all over again, helpless to those stronger, more ruthless than she was.

Outside the bathroom, the front door of the apartment opened and slammed shut. Fear gripped Sakura’s heart and she flinched, squeezing her eyes shut tight as the footsteps echoed around her. The crunch of drywall beneath Kyo’s feet, the tap of his heels on the hardwood floors, it all made her body ache just a bit more. His nearness was a pain she had never experienced before and seeing him step into the doorway sickened her. “Still feeling angry, Darling?” He smiled down at her but she didn’t move.

She had been trapped in his apartment for the past four days, wandering around their home like a ghost. The walls were still crumbling from their fight, his office completely destroyed and Sakura had spent hours retracing her steps, trying to figure out what she had missed. Books and bits of wood spilled out into the hallway but she made no move to clear it out of the way. This was her prison, not a home any longer. The thought of living how she once had made her sick and she refused to sleep in their bed.

The bathroom was where she had stayed, the only bright room in the building. It was funny how she had hated the bright, white tiles and marble for so long and now longed for it amidst the rubble of her former life. “I want to show you something.” Kyo said, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed leisurely over his chest.

Sakura kept her eyes fixed on the blinding light above her. “I’m not interested.” The words were barely out of her mouth before Kyo reached down and wrenched her arm up, pulling her to her feet as if she were a rag doll. He shoved her roughly against the door, rattling it on its hinges as she cracked the back of her head against it. Sakura hissed in pain as he kept her pinned against the door, his face inches from hers and full of anger. As much as it hurt, it brought her a bit of joy to piss him off.

She looked up at him, her ragged breath blowing her hair from her face and the corner of her lips twitched. She hid it quickly behind a grimace as he stepped away from her, straightening his shirt. Kyo cleared his throat and eyed her closely. “You test my patience, Sakura. I thought I showed you what happens when you resist. Shall I gather more of your loved ones to give you another example?”

“No.”

“Good.” He took her arm in his grip, pulling her by her elbow toward the front door. Her heart skipped a beat as she tried to imagine what he could be showing her. Would he be stupid enough to let her go outside? Surely he knew that she would scream for help if he did. She was half dragged and half pushed through the rubble in the hallway as he led her out into the hallway and toward the elevator.

Memories of her night in the elevator with Kakashi came flooding back to her and she now hated that she had cried, had mourned her ruined relationship with Kyo. If only she had known he didn’t deserve her tears...She was pushed against the gold plated wall and turned to glare at him as he shut the door and pressed a thumb into the number ‘3’ button. The elevator whirred to life, making Sakura feel a bit nauseous. It had been a while since she had eaten a proper meal and though she knew it would make her feel less weak, she hated accepting anything from Kyo.

A moment later, the bell above the doors chimed and the third floor opened up before them. Sakura had never been on this floor, had never even thought about what could be between the ground and their apartment. She stared with wide eyes at the expansive space. There wasn’t much in it aside from an area to the left with a dozen or so cots set up and a wall of computer screens pushed into the back left corner. The windows were all covered with thick, black fabric blocking any sunlight from shining through or spying eyes from looking in.

  
Kyo marched them both toward the back of the floor, not giving any explanation as to why there were cots set up or what this room even was. “Since you destroyed my office, I’ve had to move things down here.” He jerked her into a chair and the look in his eyes was icy, daring her to make a break for the elevator doors. She swallowed hard, glancing around the strange space before turning her attention to the wall of screens to her back.

He typed quickly at a keyboard and in a flash, the screens came to life, all showing her the interior of what looked like a warehouse. She could see an endless row of barrels on one screen before glancing above it to a laboratory of some kind with men working away at long tables filled with beakers and bubbling concoctions. Her mind spun as she looked from screen to screen, inching closer to them, searching the faces for anyone she knew. She was thankful that she couldn’t recognize any of them. “What is this?” She asked, hesitantly glancing up at him.

“That,” He pointed to the screen with the store of barrels, “Is Suna. And this,” his finger shifted to another screen. “Is Amegakure. Ishigakura, Hoshigakure, Iwagakure.” Kyo took a step back as he spread he hands out toward the screens, his face beaming with pride and something Sakura couldn’t quite read. He almost looked crazed, a glint of madness glittering in his eyes. “This is what I’m working for, what you’ll soon be a part of.”

Confused, Sakura shook her head and turned back to the screens, each one flashing through her mind as she tried to figure it all out. Could this be bigger than she had imagined? Was this all his? “This is...yours?”

“Ours, Sakura. Konoha isn’t the first on my list of villages that need to be purged. It’s one of the last. I have enough support from the surrounding countries, entire clans who have bowed to me and know that this is the future.” He knelt down beside Sakura’s chair, taking her hands in his but she couldn’t look away from the computer screens. “Konoha will follow their example with your help. You’re the key to the Hokage, to Naruto, to the Yamanaka and Hyuuga clans.”

Sakura swallowed down bile that threatened to spill and stared in horror at the screens, still unsure what they all had to do with him. She shook her head, her lips suddenly dry. “I think you’re making a mistake. These people are my friends, but they won’t follow me if I tell them to go along with this.”

Kyo stood to his feet and heaved a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “If they won’t, then this is what will happen.” He tapped a few keys and the screens shifted to the warehouse filled with barrels. From different angles, Sakura could see men loading carts up with barrels before they would head out the enormous double doors. “That,” Kyo pointed to the screen. “Is what is waiting for Konoha. Remember getting a lungful of powder? That was only a fraction of what I have prepared. I’ll cover the entire village and thousands of people will either succumb to my will, or die. As I said, Sakura...this all depends on you and whether you can convince them to bend the knee.”

Furious rage bubbled up inside her as she looked up at this monster standing before her. She could feel her fingers trembling as she gripped the chair beneath her so hard she could have sworn she felt the metal crack. Red spots clouded the corner of her vision as she stared up at his smug, cruel smile. “You’d kill innocent people?” Her voice quivered through clenched teeth.

Kyo slowly bent down until he was inches from her face, his hands crushing her wrists as he held her tightly to the chair. “I will happily burn this entire world and out of the ashes, I will create a new one. It’s up to you whether that happens or not.”

Inside her mind, the wall that stood blocking her chakra splintered and a thin ray of light poured out through her, warm and familiar. She had broken through...It was only a crack, but it was a start...She would break it down and she would destroy him.

“Sir. A message from Suna..” One of his soldiers at the far end of the room spoke up and Kyo stood and looked away from her. She was thankful for the moment away from his scrutiny. As he stepped away from her to address what the shinobi wanted she turned to the computer screens, the corner of her lips lifted in a smile that she couldn’t hide away. For the first time in days, she could see a tiny, glimmer of hope bursting through the darkness that clouded her mind. She would be the one to stop this madness, to kill Kyo and save her loved ones. But first, she needed to make a plan.

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	12. Chapter Twelve

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The sun had set behind the village walls and though it wasn’t very late, all of the windows in the Kyo’s apartment building were dark. Ino crouched behind a pair of smelly, over stuffed garbage cans as she looked through her binoculars at the towering structure where she suspected Sakura was. It had been nearly a week since she had stood at her doorstep and talked to her about what she was going to do. It had been decided then that Sakura was breaking things off with both Kyo and Kakashi, focusing on herself instead. And yet, just yesterday their wedding announcement hit the newspapers and Ino was left floored.

She had been trying to get in touch with her friend for the past eighteen hours with no luck. Her calls went unanswered and she had been turned away by the doorman five times now. He had never turned her away before, had always been polite and held the door open, commenting that Ms. Haruno was upstairs, or had just left for work. In the last day that she had stopped by, he had looked at Ino as if he had never seen her before in his life. He stepped between the front doors and her as if he were nothing more than a bouncer, shaking his head and making his pudgy cheeks shake. “Mr. Masashi isn’t expecting any visitors at the moment.” He had told her before holding his hand out, instructing her to move along.

Frustrated with him, Ino had demanded to see Sakura, and that she wasn’t leaving until he let her in. The doorman had turned to her, his eyes narrowed sharply as he stood rooted to his spot. “No visitors.” He snarled, and Ino knew getting in the building through him wasn’t going to work. She had turned away and doubled back down the next street over, crossing through an alley, hiding in the shadows as she watching the doorman and entrance to Kyo’s apartment for the past few hours.

Her legs were cramping from kneeling behind a trash can but she refused to leave until she saw some sign of her friend inside. Or even anything movement from someone apart from the chubby doorman. There had been nothing; no parents, no friends, no Kyo coming or going. It was as if they were all barricaded inside and the more she thought it over, the more it unnerved her. She couldn’t ignore the gnawing worry that twisted inside her stomach any longer. Biting her lip, she tiptoed around the garbage cans, swatting away a few flies as she kept to the shadows. She had a clear view of the chubby doorman as he stood to the left of the front doors, as still as a statue as he had for the past four hours. With his back to her she took a deep breath, held her hands out in front of her and released her chakra, guiding it into his mind. She felt for the slight push she was usually met with when entering someone else’s conscious and frowned when there was nothing to meet her. There was just...nothing to push into...it was as if she had tried to read a brick wall’s mind. Shaking her head, she tried again, pushing harder and risking him discovering her. Again, there was nothing and she drew her chakra back with a look of bewilderment across her face.

Either he had perfected his chakra control and anticipated her movements...or he had no mind to read. Ino put her hands on the sticky ground to steady herself as she studied him. He hadn’t moved an inch in hours, hadn’t recognized her despite knowing her and speaking to her on several different occasions and could block her mind transfer jutsu like it was nothing? There was no way. A chill ran across her body and she shivered, standing to her full height as she looked up at the floors of darkened windows. Something was going on in that building, something wrong and dark and Ino knew enough to trust her instincts. She had to get help...someone who knew Sakura as well as she did.

Turning away from the strange doorman and hauntingly dark building, Ino took off into the shadowed alleyways. She just hoped Kakashi would know what to do. 

 

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The mission scroll laid open on the kitchen counter, detailing a simple escort to Sunagakure and back that Kakashi had to practically beg for. The Hokage had scoffed at him for wanting such an easy mission, one usually reserved for Academy students but she had stopped laughing as she realized he was serious. He had let her know that there wouldn’t be a return for him but he would send his report by messenger. She hadn’t asked him too many questions, thankfully. Maybe she had seen the anguish in his face or had heard the bitterness of his words as he requested anything to take him out of Konoha immediately.

Kakashi scrubbed a palm across his face and sighed, reading over the details and aspects of mission for the fifth time. He needed something to take his mind off of the ache he felt whenever he pictured Sakura in a wedding dress, or standing next to that bastard as they cut their wedding cake in front of all their friends and family. His jaw clenched and he swept his hand over the counter, sending the scroll and several dishes clattering to the floor. He put both hands over his face and breathed deeply and slowly to calm himself down. For the past few days, he had felt as if he were being torn apart. Half of him wanted to see her and the other half made him wait for her as he said he would do. But that had been before... After seeing her in the newspaper, he had been fighting himself not to storm into that apartment and take her away, to steal her until she came back to her senses. And yet, there he stood, in his kitchen, hours away from fleeing to another village just to get away from her.

A knock at his front door made him start, his heart pounding like a frenzied drumbeat against his ribs. He crossed the room instantly and ducked to look out his peephole, begging whatever gods were above that he would see a flash of pink hair on the other side. Instead, it was Ino blinking up at him through the fisheye lens. Kakashi wrenched his mask in place before pulling the door open, hoping he didn’t look as miserable as he felt. He raised an eyebrow at the girl. “Ino?”

“I don’t suppose you’ve got Sakura stashed away in there, do you?” She pushed her shoulder into his as she forced her way into his home. Kakashi shook his head in surprise before quickly shutting the door behind him. Just at the mention of her name, his pulse had become out of control.

“Why would she be here?”

Ino whirled around, hands on her hips as she rolled her blue eyes at him. “I know about you and Sakura, okay?”

Kakashi closed his eyes and took a deep breath before crossing his arms over his chest. He had suspected as much, knowing she and Sakura were close, and after the day in the hospital, there wasn’t much doubt left. Still, it made him a bit uncomfortable talking so openly about Sakura and their affair to her best friend. He pushed a hand through his hair and dropped his hands in defeat, not sure of what he could even say at that moment. “She’s not here.” He said, reaching for the doorknob to let her out.

“Well then we have a problem.” Ino slipped her bag off of her shoulders and walked to his couch, throwing it down on the cushions before pulling at the zippers. “Because, it’s been a week since anyone has laid eyes on her. And either you or I were the last to see her.” She pulled two green folders from her backpack, set them on the arm of the couch and looked over her shoulder at him. “And I’m guessing the last time you saw her, she wasn’t the blushing bride that she was in the newspaper?”

Kakashi felt his throat tighten as he glanced to the files she had laid on his couch. The knot in his stomach twisted and he shook his head, unable to find the words to speak. He cursed himself for being a coward who chose to stand by and let Sakura marry someone else. He should have tore his way through that building yesterday when he had seen her picture in the paper. “What are you getting at?”

“Last week, I went to see her and make sure she was alright after everything that happened at the hospital. She told me she had thought she was pregnant,” Ino paused and looked pointedly at him and Kakashi felt his heart drop to the floor. “She isn’t but, the whole scare made her realize she wasn’t ready to be married and she needed to be by herself for a while. I’m assuming she told you something similar?”

“Aside from the pregnancy, yes.” He didn’t know what to think as he tried to focus on what Ino was telling him. He had no idea Sakura had thought she was pregnant. Why hadn’t she told him? He felt light headed, his heart beating too fast but he took a deep breath and took the file Ino handed him. He flipped open the green cover and stared down at a registry of refugees coming into Konoha after the war. Ino had highlighted Kyo’s name in yellow and the date he arrived and Kakashi raised an eyebrow as he glanced up at her. “What is this?”

She ignored him and instead of answering put her hands back on her hips. “Why would Sakura tell both of us she was breaking off her engagement and not one week later, she’s in the announcement section? No one has seen her since that night. In the last eighteen hours, no one has left or went into Kyo’s building. I even went to her parents house, Kakashi! And guess what!” She threw her hands in the air as she gave a short, panicked laugh. “They weren’t there! It was like they had been having dinner and left in a hurry and the food was sitting on the table that looked several weeks old. I feel like I’m going crazy!”

Silence spread between them and Kakashi felt as if his living room was shrinking around them. Sakura was missing and he had been so blinded by his pain and misery that he couldn’t see that something strange was happening. His chest rose and fell hard as he stared at the tears welling up in Ino’s blue eyes. She swiped at them angrily and snatched the other folder from behind her. “I’ve never trusted the guy and I dug around when Sakura first started seeing him. Separately, it doesn’t look suspicious, but after the last few days, it’s getting stranger and stranger. Look,” Ino turned the registrar in his hands and pointed to the highlighted section. “Kyo comes to Konoha and almost immediately begins work on the new hospital. But a few weeks before that, we get a message from Suna with several missing nin profiles.”

Kakashi watched her shuffle through stacks of profiles, each around the same age and no prior suspicions of going rogue. He flipped through them as Ino spread more pages out on his couch, dropping to her knees in front of it. All profiles of missing nin from surrounding villages, all several months apart. He frowned and shook his head, not connecting the pieces of her puzzle. “Everywhere he goes, he leaves a trail of missing Shinobi behind him. They’re not rogue, they never show up back anywhere...they just disappear. He was given an award in Suna a year before the war for building a state of the art research facility that was later shut down due to unethical procedures.” She rose to her feet and pulled a newspaper clipping from a stack of pages. It had been folded and looked to be ten years old but Kakashi could clearly see Kyo shaking hands with the Kazekage. A team of men stood surrounding him in white lab coats as they smiled proudly for the camera.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes on the man standing directly behind Kyo, his stomach dropping like a stone to the floor. Shun. The room tipped and Kakashi felt a familiar bubble of panic rising inside him. It was the same terror he had felt in Kuma when he realized Sakura had been taken by that maniac and he had no way to know if she was alright or even alive. The edges of his vision went red and he ignored what Ino was saying at his side before heading to his bedroom. He wrenched open his closet and pulled out a pair of kunai and a tanto, tossing them back on the bed.

Ino was at his bedroom door in a flash, her eyes wide as she watched him snatch a pair of boots from the floor. She stepped forward and grabbed his wrist, pulling his boots from him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to get her.”

“You can’t just go in there like some crazed lunatic! You don’t know what’s in there waiting for you!” She held his boot behind her back and stepped back to the door, twisting away from him as he tried to snatch it back from her.

“I don’t care! If Sakura is in there and needs help, I’m going to--”

“Will you calm down? Kakashi, I’m trying to tell you I think Kyo is behind these poisonings! I think he’s stealing shinobi’s away and-and experimenting on them or something. If we go up there and we mess this up, he could get away.”

Kakashi pushed a hand through his hair and clenched his jaw, desperate to get to Sakura but Ino was right. He couldn’t risk doing something reckless that could endanger her. He nodded, turning back to the newspaper clipping he had discarded on the bed, opening it up to show Ino. “This man,” He pointed to Shun. “He was behind the string of poisonings in Kumagakure. He was working directly under Kyo.”

Ino shook her head in disbelief as she took the picture from his hands. “Do you think this is enough proof to take to Tsunade?”

“No. We need to catch this bastard in the act. Exposing him is the only way to take him down for good.”

He looked down at Ino, saw the worry written across her face as she studied the clipping and knew she was just as scared as he was for Sakura. She nodded and squared her shoulders. “Alright. I think I have a plan.”

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AN- I expect there to only be two more chapters of this series...maybe three, I'm not sure yet. :)


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Trigger Warning: Violence and death**

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Sakura watched herself in the reflection of a floor length mirror as her body was covered in silk, pulled across her chest and around her shoulders as if she were being forced into a cocoon. The fingers beneath her left arm threaded a needle through the fabric, cinching it tightly across her waist. She opened her mouth to complain that she could barely breath in the dress, but what good would it do? The woman at her back hadn’t spoken a single word in the past hour, keeping her gray head down and gaze focused solely on preparing Sakura for her wedding. Would she even be able to hear her complaints, or had Kyo warped the old woman’s mind to ignore Sakura’s pleading? 

 

The tip of the needle caught Sakura’s elbow and she flinched, biting her tongue to keep from gasping in pain. For the first half hour, she had debated on confiding in the woman, telling her she was being held as a prisoner and she needed her to get help. But, she couldn’t risk the woman getting caught and punished for her sake. Besides, Sakura had a plan. 

 

It had been three days since she had cracked through the blockage hiding her chakra and hadn’t been able to do much else. She could feel it flowing just out of her reach, taunting her and calling to her but each time she tried to call it, she failed. It was no use. She was too weak, too poisoned to gain her strength back. But, she’d be damned if she let Kyo win. She was going to destroy his plan, one way or another...even if that meant slitting her own throat to keep him from gaining power. 

 

Sakura felt her chest tighten and she struggled to take in a breath, cursing the tight material binding her ribs. She didn’t want to die, not surrounded by people she hated. She thought of Ino and Naruto, her parents...Kakashi. It hurt to think about him the most, about how she had left the safety of his arms and willingly walked into a monster’s den. He eyes burned and she put a hand to her constricted throat, gasping for a breath The old woman at her left circled around to her back and let out a few ribbons, allowing her to finally gulp in air. Sakura blinked at the woman in the mirror and licked her dry lips. Could she see that it was hard to breathe? Did she care that Sakura was struggling not to cry? Maybe, she could say something to her...maybe she would listen. A sparkle of hope lit Sakura’s insides like a fire and she opened her mouth, her voice cracking in her throat. “Please—“

 

Her words were cut off by the bedroom door opening and the face of her future husband appeared in the mirror, smiling wickedly. Sakura clamped her mouth shut, mostly to keep herself from vomiting and quickly looked away from his reflection. She felt the woman shift around to her other side, whether to steer clear of Kyo or to alter that side of her dress a second time, she didn’t know. The feel of his hands on her neck made Sakura shudder and she flinched away as he pressed his lips against her shoulder. He pulled the fabric of her dress down her shoulders, revealing far more skin than she was comfortable showing. “Don’t be shy, darling.” He murmured against her earlobe and Sakura jerked away from him, nearly knocking the tiny old woman over as she stumbled in the folds of her skirt. 

 

Kyo gripped her elbow and pulled her roughly against him, popping a few of the seams that had just been sewn into her dress. He snarled, brushing Sakura’s hair away from her face and holding it behind her head to force her to look up at him. “I can’t wait to break you, Sakura. You think what you’ve already endured was bad, just wait. I’ll have you bleeding and begging for more before it’s over.” His words sickened her but she refused to show any reaction to him at all. 

 

“Do your worst.” She spat, wrenching her arm from his grip before returning to the mirror. Fingers found her sleeves and she let the woman tend to them, making them perfectly pretty as Sakura stared at herself. From behind her, Kyo chuckled and raked his fingers through his hair. He was a bit pale and she noticed a strangeness to his eyes, as if he were darting them all around the room. She had seen people under the influence of drugs before and could almost immediately conclude he was as well. This could be her chance. He was obviously distracted by whatever he had injected into himself. Would she be able to overpower him in this state? 

 

Her mouth went dry as she felt him press against her, drawing her hair from her neck with shaking fingers. He dipped a hand between her breasts, nearly pulling her dress down to her navel. She grabbed at the material and shook her head, stepping between him and the woman behind her. “Stop.” She snapped, pushing his hand away. It did nothing to halt his roaming hands and Sakura felt herself panicking. Kyo sniffed and stared down at her through a heavy lidded gaze, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. 

 

“Leave us.” His voice was low and dark as he barked an order to the woman. Sakura wanted to reach out and grab her, to beg her not to leave her alone with this monster but she couldn’t. She was jerked against Kyo, held tightly in his grip as he ran his tongue across her throat. Behind them, she could hear the woman gathering her sewing tools and she turned her head away from Kyo, catching her reflection in the mirror. Tears streaked down Sakura’s face and she pushed as hard as she could against Kyo, too terrified to try to find her chakra. 

 

The fabric of her dress lifted all the way to her hips and Kyo’s hands slid around her backside, lifting her into his arms before dropping her onto the bed. “No!” Sakura screamed as he crawled over her, laughing against her chest as she hit him with all of her strength. It didn’t phase him one bit. From over his shoulder, she searched for the seamstress, pleading with her not to leave. The woman hobbled to the door and wrenched it open. She paused and glanced back at Sakura, pulling something out of her bag. A pair of scissors caught the light and for a second that seemed to stretch for several minutes, Sakura stared in confusion. The woman lowered the blades and let them slip from her fingers onto the carpet behind the dresser that sat by the door. In a flash, she disappeared and Sakura sat up on her elbows, ignoring Kyo as he raised up and fumbled with his belt. The world slowed down around her, a thousand thoughts racing through her mind as she stared at the sliver of metal beneath the dresser. Would she be able to kill him with a pair of scissors? She had to try. 

 

With all of her strength, she brought her legs to her chest and clenched her teeth, slamming her feet into his ribs. Kyo stumbled back as his breath was knocked from his lungs, his belt dangling on either side of his pants as he blinked in surprise. Sakura scrambled from the bed, twisting her ankle as it tangled in the material of her gown. She cursed and reached for the dresser, managing to hook her fingers in the handle of the top drawer before Kyo grabbed a handful of her hair and threw her back. She slammed into the bed, the metal frame bending beneath the force of her. With a gasp, she looked up just as the back of Kyo’s hand hit her jaw. Sakura fell to her side and shook her hair from her face and the stars from her eyes as blood spilled from her bottom lip. She could see the pair of blades between Kyo’s legs as he stood over her, just far enough out of her reach to taunt her.

 

The tip of his polished, leather shoe reflected the light before he kicked it into her ribs. Sakura cried out as pain exploded through her midsection, making the room spin and fade to black for a second. Her ears rang and she felt as if she had weights holding her down to the floor. Faintly, she could feel herself lift from the floor and the room shifted back into focus. Kyo’s face swayed before her and she blinked at the taste of blood in her mouth. “Look what you’ve done to your dress. How will this look to all of our guests?” He clucked his tongue and held her upright with one arm as he ran his fingers over the front of her gown, smearing the red into the silk. 

 

“Fuck you.” Sakura said, smiling as flecks of blood splattered his face. She watched the fury fill his eyes and braced herself for another hit as he pulled his hand back. Before he could inflict his rage on her, a knock at the door made him hesitate. “Sir? We’re ready.” 

 

Kyo inhaled deeply through his nose and let it out slowly, keeping his eyes closed for several minutes as he gained his composure. He let her go and Sakura stumbled on her feet, her head still swimming from the pain that pulsed over her body. She glanced to the floor by the door, hoping he wouldn’t spot the scissors before she could get to them. They were well hidden. Kyo opened his eyes and smiled as he looked over her face. He ran his thumb over the cut on her bottom lip before dipping his head and claiming her mouth with his. She gasped as his teeth grazed over her wound and she jerked her head to the side, smearing her blood over his chin. 

 

“Someone will come get you shortly. I don’t think I have to remind you that your parents will be in the front row, ready to kill one another if you’re not on your best behavior.” He glanced over her face and scoffed. “Clean yourself up.” Sakura watched him, her entire body tensed as he turned and made his way to the door. She almost couldn’t believe it when he stepped out and closed it behind him, leaving her alone and neglecting the weapon that had been left for her.

 

In a flash, she crossed the room and snatched the scissors from under the dresser. She held them tightly in her fist the same way she would a kunai. They felt heavy and bulky, but they would do. For a moment, she wondered if she should break them apart to have two. It would already be difficult hiding one weapon, though. She pushed the billowing sleeve up her left arm and tucked the scissors between her elbow and the bruised strip of muscles along her ribs. If it seemed strange for her to be holding her sides, at least Kyo would assume it was because he had hurt her. It would probably please him to see that he had inflicted pain onto her. Sakura straightened and caught sight of herself in the mirror.

 

Droplets of blood decorated the strip of silk across her chest, a stark contrast to the blinding white of the gown. She rather liked it and decided not to do as Kyo said. She left the smear of crimson across her mouth, the tangle of hair around her shoulders, just as he had left her. Sakura squared her shoulders and looked into her eyes, promising herself that one way or another, she would end things tonight.

 

Not five minutes from the time Kyo had left her alone, she was startled by two of his shinobi soldiers, their faces hidden behind black masks, with only their eyes showing. They stepped forward, reaching out to grab her arms but she gave them no chance. Sakura wrenched herself from their grasp. “I can walk myself. I don’t need you pulling me along.” She gathered her skirts in her free hand and walked through the hall of the apartment she had called home for the past 7 months. It was only a prison now, mutilated from what it used to be, any traces of a home long gone. 

 

The shinobi escorted Sakura through the halls to the stairwell, avoiding the elevator. She was thankful, not wanting to taint her memory of Kakashi. They traveled in silence, their boots barely making a sound on the steps as her bare feet tapped the tile floor, echoing off the walls. By the second floor, Sakura was wondering if they would be going to the ground and her heart pounded hard in her chest at the off chance she could see the sky once more. Her hopes were dashed as they lead her through the halls of the second floor, toward a pair of doors. 

 

Even from the hallway, she could smell the thick, overwhelming scent of flowers. She was thrown off guard as the doors opened and she was all but pushed inside. Her feet slipped on a bed of rose petals and she put her hands out to steady herself, the scissors slipping a few inched down her side. She pressed them against her and righted herself as she stared at the the faces of strangers. Men and women she had never seen before sat around in chairs adorned with ribbon and flowers. A few men looked to be bodyguards or personal protection and every face that turned to study her had an air of snobbish entitlement. They stared down their noses at her, some women giggling behind their fingers as she took a step toward the platform at the back of the room where Kyo was waiting for her.

 

He did not look happy that she hadn’t wiped the blood from her face. Good. Sakura held her head up high and walked toward him, her fingers twitching with the urge to grab the scissors and drive them into his heart. Once she was within an arm’s reach of him, he took her by her free arm and hauled her up the steps to the stage. To his left were Daichi and Kaiya, a cigarette perched between her first two fingers as she watched with a bored expression. 

 

Sakura turned to face the crowd, counting the number of Kyo’s personal shinobi’s he had guarding the room. There were ten that she could see along the walls, possibly more waiting in the hall and stationed around the building. Kyo raised his arms and the crowd hushed immediately. Some of the women slid closer to the front of their chairs, staring up at him as if he were a god and Sakura was filled with horror. It wasn’t just the women though...men watched his every move, listened to what he was saying. They...loved him. She could tell they revered him with high esteem, worshipped him and completely believed in this world he sought to create. The scissors at her side burned suddenly and she realized she couldn’t kill him. He’d be made a martyr, a saint to call upon to strengthen their mission. 

 

Fuck.

 

She scanned the crowd, recognizing the stoic faces of her parents. They stared straight ahead, not looking at her or Kyo, clearly still under his influence. What would they think if she killed herself? Would they be used as Kyo’s pawns, forced to fight against their friend’s and family as his soldiers? It was a fate worse than death.

 

Sakura reached into her sleeve as Kyo addressed the crowd. “Friends and future rulers of this new world, I welcome you to witness for yourself the power many have doubted through the years. Witness, a dawning of a new era.  Dorei!” The shinobi all along the wall stomped forward at Kyo’s command, their steps echoing around the expansive room so loudly, Sakura felt herself start. “These men are under my complete and total control. Anything I command of them, they will do.” His words faded from Sakura’s ears as she felt her eyes close, her entire body buzzing with anticipation, fear, and horror. A murmur passed through the crowd and she pulled the blades from her sleeve, holding them close to her body.

 

If Kyo could be a martyr for his cause, then so could she. Her death could be the catalyst to his end, the fire that would burn in the hearts of all her friends and the village. She took a deep, shuddering breath, images from her studies with Shizune fluttering through her head. She knew exactly where to stab, the point in her heart to pierce that couldn’t be mended by any medic. Her death was certain. Sakura raised her fist, ignoring the sharp intake of breath from the woman smoking beside the stage as she caught sight of her.

 

Before she could plunge the blades into her chest, a tremor shook the floor and several women in the crowd gasped and shrieked. Rage flared in Kyo’s eyes as he snapped his fingers in the air, sending both sets of shinobi running toward the double doors at the front of the great room. Sakura held her breath, the point of the scissors just above her eyes as she watched ten of his elite soldiers rush forward. Another tremble through the floor sent several men shouting to their own body guards and women hurried to the corners of the room like cockroaches. 

 

Blood rushed through Sakura’s ears, pounding in time to her heart beat. She stared, wide eyed and waiting. A hush fell over the entire room and time stood still. From the hallway, she could hear muffled shouting. Pain pierced her wounded bottom lip as she found herself smiling and flecks of dried blood fell to her chest. 

 

The front doors blew open, taking one of the shinobi out by the force and Sakura stumbled back, dropping her hands to her sides. She held the scissors tightly as the dust settled and a familiar flash chirp of electricity filled the air.  _ Kakashi _ . Ino quickly rushed into the room, taking out two of the soldiers, and her eyes immediately raised to Sakura as she shouted to the rush of nin pouring in behind her. 

 

Kyo roared in fury, shouting commands to Daichi. He grabbed a radio at his side and called for backup. Every muscle and cell inside her body tightened as she watched him slowly turn toward her, his eyes blazing with a fiery hatred. It was now or never. She had to strike. With a growl, Sakura brought her fist up and down into the front of Kyo’s chest. The sound of bone and cartilage crunching beneath the blades made her cringe but she pushed them further down into his chest, not satisfied until she could hear him take his last breath. He gasped, blinking in confusion as he looked down at the front of his white shirt. Crimson pooled around the silver blades sticking out of his chest and he stumbled back, reached to grab Sakura by the throat. She jerked away from him, clutching her dress to her body as he took hold of it as he fell.

 

Daichi was at their side in a flash, his fist striking Sakura across her jaw as he caught Kyo before he could fall. The front of her dress ripped as she was sent rolling across the platform, the bruises on her side flaring hot and making her see stars. She was on her feet before she could catch her breath and stumbled down the steps of the platform, searching through the dust and rubble for Kakashi. Women screaming echoed through the room, joining with the sound of blades clashing together. An enormous man that had been in the crowd roared as he sprinted up the aisle, kicking up rose petals and she could only watch him advance on her. His hands were outstretched, as if he wanted nothing more than to squeeze the life from her throat and Sakura braced herself to be hit. A pair of shuriken sliced through the air and sank into the side of the man’s skull, stopping him dead where he stood before he could get within arms reach. 

 

His body fell in a heap and Sakura felt the entire room disappear at the sight of Kakashi where the man had once been. She gathered her skirt into her hands and ran toward him, ignoring the fighting and screaming, the pain pulsing through her body. All she wanted was him. He met her halfway, lifting her into his arms despite the chaos around them. Tears streamed freely down her face as she wrapped her legs around his waist and held him tightly. “I thought I would never see you again.” She sobbed into his neck, kissing her way from his jaw to his lips, wrenching his mask down to his throat. 

 

“Are you hurt?” He asked, taking her face in his hands before inspecting her. She shook her head and kissed him again. Behind her back, she felt someone bump into them and Kakashi spun her away. She didn’t care. In that moment, all she wanted was to hold him in her arms and never let go. “I love you. I should have told you in Kuna, I should have told you every day since then.” She slid her hands over his shoulders, around his neck, through his hair. She couldn’t touch him enough. She was terrified that she would wake up on Kyo’s bathroom floor and this would all be a dream. 

 

“Sakura!” A familiar voice called her name and she lowered herself out of Kakashi’s arms to turn toward Ino. She grabbed Sakura by the shoulders and let her eyes travel down her face, inspecting for injuries. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine. My parents,” Sakura gasped and spun toward the stage where she had left Kyo to die. “They’re here. He has control of them.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll find them!” Ino looked between them both before nodding and heading back into the crowd. Kakashi looped an arm around her waist to help steady her but Sakura shook her head and stood on her own. “I’m fine.”

 

“You’re bleeding.” He said, eyeing her bottom lip and bruised jaw with a furious gaze. He turned to where she had been standing next to Kyo and Sakura looked as well. Daichi and Kaiya were tending to Kyo, their hands glowing a soft green as they mended his wound. More of his guards had came in the room from behind the stage and had formed a half circle around their commander, swords drawn and ready to defend him. Sakura felt anger course through her like a river of lava and she wiped the back of her hand across the blood dripping from her lip. Killing Kyo wasn’t an option, but letting him go wasn’t either. “I’m going to kill him.” Kakashi growled, pulling his sword from its sheath. 

 

Sakura put a hand to his arm and shook her head. “You can’t. He’s like a god to these people. He’s brainwashed shinobis and forced them to be his personal army. If we kill him, he’ll only be a martyr.” She cracked her knuckles into her fist and watched Kyo as he stood on the stage, using his two friends to steady himself. His eyes caught hers instantly and Sakura took a step toward him as he was quickly lead behind the stage. “I’m going after him.”

 

“No, you’re not. I want you to find Ino and let her take you out of here.” 

 

“What? No. This is my fight.”

 

Before she could make her way toward the line of soldiers still guarding Kyo, Kakashi pulled her by her elbow and spun her around. The look on his face made the breath freeze in her lungs and she almost wanted to look away. He was afraid, the terror filling his eyes as he searched hers. “I can’t lose you again.” Even through the noise of the fighting around them, she could hear the break in his voice. It cut through her and she felt her shoulders fall. 

 

Sakura put a hand to his face and smiled up at him. “You won’t.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her fingertips gently, as if chaos wasn’t reigning down around them. A small trickle of warmth spread across her body, starting at the tip of her spine and flowing down to her fingertips. Chakra pulsed around her heart and she closed her eyes as she pulled it forward. It wasn’t much but it was enough to do what she needed to. Kakashi spun to face the line of guards that stared them both down, the tips of their swords stretched out. 

 

Together, they made their way forward. Kakashi rushed ahead, his blade slicing through the dust that had filled the room. He was much faster than any of them and Sakura waited, her muscles tensed as she watched for an opening. Two shinobi went down together, landing in a crumpled heap before he moved on to the next that rushed him. One by one, they fell and Sakura knew she had to take the first opening she had. 

 

The two ninja blocking the only exit that Kyo had been taken through moved toward Kakashi, and Sakura ran through the door they had been blocking. She threw it open hard enough to knock it from it’s hinges and bits of plaster and wood rained down around her as she caught sight of a bit of cigarette smoke lingering in the narrow hall. Idiot. She could smell exactly where they were heading and she followed the trail.

 

Around a tight corner was a staircase leading up through the floors. She took them two at a time, ripping the material of her gown to give her legs room to run. Two floors passed her in a blur and she could hear voices one level above her. They were heading for the roof. Sakura swallowed and coaxed a bit more chakra from the cracked seal inside her. She pulled it from her chest, channeling it all into her fists. She prayed it would be enough.

 

A strong whiff of smoke hit her and she flew around a corner, catching Kaiya at the top of the last bit of stairs. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, cigarette held tightly between her fingers as she glared down at Sakura. “You know, I always told Kyo you would be what ruined his plan. But, he always knew better.” Kaiya brought her hand to her lips and took a drag, blowing the smoke to the ceiling. “It feels good to be right.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Sakura said, silently promising herself that she would though, if it came down to it. She could feel her chakra gathering in her fists as she took the stairs one at a time. The woman stood only six away and she tossed her head back and laughed, the sound echoing eerily off the walls of the cramped space.

 

Kaiya looked down at her with a small smile. “I don’t want to be hurt. They asked me to kill you with this.” She pulled a blade from the waistband of her pants and twirled it nimbly between her fingers. Sakura watched the tip of the kunai catch the light, shimmering as she spun it. With a smirk, she held it out to her, stepping to the side. “But, I’m a bit tired of taking orders from men.” 

 

She couldn’t be sure it wasn’t a trap but something in the woman’s voice told her she was serious. Sakura took the kunai from her and stepped up to the top of the stairs to where they were both level. Kaiya looked so much older than she truly was, the corners of her lips wrinkled and discolored as she smiled. “I surrender.” Kaiya held her hands up and backed into the wall to let her pass. Sakura kept her back to the door, watching the woman as she pushed her way to the roof. Just before the door could shut, Kaiya sat down on the steps and sighed heavily, taking another puff from her cigarette. 

 

Sakura shook her hair from her face as she turned, the wind ripping fast around her. Before she could even glance around the roof, a fist flew out from the left and hit her across the cheek. She slid backwards, her heels digging into the gravel but she managed to keep herself upright. Daichi rushed her, a tanto held tightly in one fist. She spotted the blade just as he sliced it down through the air, catching her kunai at the handle. Sakura ground her teeth as the tip of the sword caught her knuckles, slicing her fingers nearly to the bone. She brought her foot to his chest and shoved him back, pressing her hand between her other arm and ribs. 

 

Daichi smirked and slung the blood from his tanto, pleased that he had inflicted pain on her. For a moment, the roof spun and Sakura stumbled on her feet, knowing she had to reserve as much chakra as she could and wouldn’t be able to spare any for her injuries. “This little rebellion won’t stop us, Sakura. Do you think you’re the first to fight back?” He lowered himself in a stance as he stared her down. She held her kunai out in defense, eyeing the roof around her. Kyo was nowhere to be seen but she knew he couldn’t be far. Even despite being healed, a wound like his would require much more work. He was hurt and there was a definite smell of blood in the air. 

 

“No,” She breathed, wincing from the pain in her hand. “I plan to be the last, though.” She didn’t wait for him to make his move and ran straight for him, her kunai slicing through the air. He deflected easily and swept his leg across the ground to knock her sideways, just as she expected. Sakura leapt over him, channeling her chakra into the bleeding fist at her side. She brought it down onto the back of his head as she soared over him, landing with a small stumble as he slid across the rooftop. His face drug across the gravel for several yards before he rolled to his side, his sword thrown clear. Daichi struggled to his feet, spitting blood from his slashed mouth. 

 

“Bitch.” He spat, making a move toward the blade. Sakura was a bit faster and managed to swipe it a second before he could reach it. Daichi grabbed the back of her dress and swung her around, his heel coming down to slam into her chest. Sakura hit the floor hard, her breath knocking from her lungs. She gasped for air as he pulled his fist back, his lips pulled back in a snarl over his blood stained teeth. Before he could connect his knuckles with her face, Sakura pushed his blade up into his stomach toward his heart as deep as it could go, making sure she hit every major organ to ensure his death. Blood sprayed across her body as Daichi gaped down at his body, blinking in shock. His arms dropped, hanging limp on either side of Sakura’s head before she tossed his body to the ground. He stared up at her as he gasped for breath.

 

She rose to her feet and wiped the blood from her face with the billowy sleeve of her wedding gown, glancing around the rooftop for any sign of Kyo. The moon was bright but quickly hidden behind the clouds that looked heavy with rain. She glanced back at the door she had come from. It was a small entrance, not able to hide much around it but she circled it just in case he was hiding like a coward. “Kyo!” She called, his name echoing through the night and silence answered her.

 

“Shit.” She muttered, limping to the side of the building to make sure he hadn’t leapt to his death. She could see several people crowding around the door on the ground, medics and shinobi ushering people out in droves. 

 

“You really want me dead that badly?” A voice said quietly behind her. Sakura whipped around and stared at her ex-fiance. He was still bleeding, clutching the wound she had given him on his chest but was standing easily. She could see his skin was pale and damp with sweat, his eyes still holding all of the furious anger he had looked at her with earlier. Even now, cornered and defeated, he wanted to kill her. 

 

“No,” She shook her head. “I want you to pay for your crimes. I want you to rot for the rest of your life in a cell.”

 

He scoffed and swayed a bit on his feet, stumbling before he righted himself. It was now that Sakura could see something in his hands. It was a small bottle, much like the vial he had used to poison her with the night she had found his plans. She wouldn’t let him win this time. He wasn’t getting away. “I’m sure you do. But, that’s not in my future. This world will end, whether it’s by my hand or not.” Kyo brought the vial to his lips and paused. “My death will see to that.” 

 

Sakura was at his side in a flash, her hand knocking the vial from his mouth and sending it sliding over the edge of the roof. She could see the poison across his lips. He had drank it. Kyo let his head fall back, laughing as she struggled to hold him up. “You bastard!” She laid him down on the roof and wiped the insides of his mouth with a tattered piece of her dress. “Coward!” She screamed at him as she leaned over his chest, pressing her hands to his throat and forcing her remaining chakra to her hands. 

 

Sweat beaded along her brow but she pushed her chakra into his body, gnashing her teeth as her energy drained. She forced her chakra around the poison making it’s way through his system, drawing it out slowly. Kyo coughed and sputtered, falling unconscious from its effects. No! She wouldn’t let him die, wouldn’t let him take the easy way out. All of her chakra pooled in the palm of her trembling hands as she sent tendrils of energy into his veins, grabbing each particle of poison she could find. It gathered slowly in a ball before she pulled it from his chest and fell back on her backside. 

 

Raindrops pelted her face as she breathed hard, her head pounding as the rooftop tilted beneath her. From behind her, she could hear the door bursting open but she had no energy left to even keep herself upright. She felt her eyes roll back in her head and the sky spun around her before she fell back into someone’s arms. Her name was being called from very far away and she could almost recognize the voice. “Ka...kashi…” She managed to whisper before the world went black.

* * *

 

**AN-** Should be about two more chapters after this :) Thank you everyone who has commented and read it. I really appreciate your feedback :)   



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